Day 3 – Your parents

Dear mum and dad,

I love you.  We aren’t a family like the kind of families I see my friends in.  I rarely see you, and if I do see you, it’s usually a special occasion.  I realise it takes two to tango, but we all know what made things awkward, pretty much from the age of 19.  I do really hope one day you can completely accept me for the person I am, and not just partially.  I always try to see the good in every situation, and I am thankful that you still talk to me, as many guys and girls in a similar position do not have it as easy.  I wish I could talk to you normally about it, but due to traditional and religious values, I’ve accepted many years ago that this will never happen.  Occasionally a joke or a passing reference will come to pass, and I’m amazed you can even do that.  Doing that gives me some comfort that you’ve come to terms with it over the last 8 years.  Having the friends I do here, I notice that the country lifestlye is very different to the city, and I could never truly be myself out there on the farm.  Dad, you told me once you were afraid of what your friends would think of you.  Quite frankly dad, and as much as it kinda hurts to say it, that’s your issue, not mine.  I hope over the years since you told me that, that your views have changed.  If anything, you should embrace it – but to me, I’ll always be seen as the sinful child the devil got a hold of.
Since I moved out, going on a decade ago now (wow!), I’ve always hated the relationship we’ve had, meaning I wish I could see you both more and not just be a family via facebook.  That’s pretty much what it is, and before facebook, we were basically nothing.  I appreciate so much the every-so-often call from you mum.  Loved hearing all of the family goss via you.  I was amazed when I saw you’d signed up to facebook yesterday, as I didn’t even think you knew how to use a computer 🙂 Either way, you can see my photos now.  Just don’t judge me how dad has.  Yes dad, I hate hate when you have an issue with a photo were I’m having fun.  So there are a few photos of me pashing boys, and a few of my pashing girls.  There are far worse ones that are hidden from you, purely from your reactions.  My friends say I’m insane for even having my parents on my facebook, and you are hidden from seeing a lot of things, but from what you can see, take this as my way of reaching out to you.
I don’t want our relationship to fall even further apart.  It sometimes feels like I’m not even your son.  I am nothing like my siblings, in the SLIGHTEST.  I’ve been through a hell of a lot, and I feel like I never had your support.  I do not blame you though.  I blame our religion.  Yes, I said it.  I BLAME our religion.  However, I am thankful of you raising me religious, as i don’t believe I would be the humble and kind person I see myself as today without it.  I just HATE the way our religion teaches.  I do not go to church anymore.  The church does not accept me, therefore I do not accept it.  This does not mean I have given up on God, I just do not like the church’s hypocrisy.
I love that you are travelling around Australia all the time and that you bought the motorhome – i think it is amazing – it’s like a house inside!  I do think however that you should not just travel around our lovely country.  Go and explore the world while you still can.  I know you always said dad ‘There’s so much of Australia I haven’t even seen yet’ but I think you’ll appreciate the amazing world as a whole if you go explore it.  I really hope to be able to one day, but I need to save lots to do so.
Congratulations on being together for so long.  I admire the story of how you both met, at a local dance.  It really does bring a smile to my face.
I don’t want to be seen as the outcast of the family, but rather as equal.  I do not know if I’ll ever provide you with grandkids, I really do not.  I just want your approval of me being happy, and I still to this day do not completely feel like I have that.
But, luckily I’m very independant and I make my own way.  I feel I have friends who support me here.  i really do hope the world will change it’s traditionalist views one day.
I love you,

love Matt