And the winner of Australian Idol is…

1. Men are like department stores….
their clothes should always be half off.

2. Men are like vacations….
they never seem to be long enough.

3. Men are like computers…
hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

4. Men are like coolers…
load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

5. Men are like chocolate bars….
sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like coffee….
the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

7. Men are like horoscopes….
they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

8. Men are like plungers…
they spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

9. Men are like cement….
after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

10. Q: Why are men like laxatives?
A: They irritate the shit out of you.

11. Q: Why did God create man?
A: Because vibrators don’t mow lawns.

12. Q: What are two reasons men don’t mind their own business?
A: No mind-No business

13. Q: How are men and parking spots alike?
A: The good ones are taken and what’s left is handicapped.

14. Q: Why is it hard for a women to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.

15. Q: How is a man like a snowstorm?
A: You never know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.

16. Q: Why are men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they don’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties.

17. Q: Why can’t men get mad cow disease?
A: Because they’re all pigs.

Oh how I love bagging out my own kind lol.  I mean seriously, just look at the way guys really are, and I’m right with the girls on this one – so I thought this joke/jokes were appropriate hehe.  I only really bag out the gay guys I know in real life, straight guys are usually okay.  It’s only if they are homophobes, that’s when I have a problem.  I think that’s fair.

I’m watching the Kath And Kim free DVD that came with today’s paper.  Well I had to get a coupon from yesterday’s paper too, and it’s the only reason I bought both papers haha, for the coupons!  Anyway it was lucky I got the DVD cos all the newsagents are closed on a Sunday afternoon and we asked a convienience store if they had them, and they did, so I handed over my coupons in exchange for the DVD.  It’s not bad, but really plugging their TV mini series which is being shown later this month.  ABC’s ratings are gunna go through the roof that night, I can see it now.  It’s seriously gotta be their best show.  Just like South Park and Queer As Folk are SBS’s.

I went to John’s house last night cos he invited me over earlier in the week.  It was great cos he’s kind enough to let me use his DSL connection so I just bring my computer box over.  I finally loaded all my Melbourne photo’s onto Snapfish, which woulda taken like a week on my dialup connection.  I downloaded heaps of music too and some video clips I had really been after.  Except I got a surprise when I downloaded the clip for "Hung Up" by Madonna – it wasn’t that at all, but actually a short gay pornography, which actually worked out really well cos A) I’m gay and B) The guys in it were fucking gorgeous.  So there’s me playing gay porn on my PC and John’s monitor showing clips of girls going for it hardcore.  Hahaha, was quite interesting.  I wasn’t even after porn, I got it by complete accident, but it’s a damn good clip so I’m gunna keep it! Dayam.  I was saying to John how I hardly have any porn on my computer, compared to most gay guys who probably have it lined only with it haha.  He was qucik to reply he has heaps.  Of course it’s all Straight and Lesbians going at it, but hey, that’s what straight guys do!  He’s really getting into his church lately and it’s good to see – he was telling me about all the hot chicks there.  Haha, the hot guys were half the reason I went to church!  Not that I’ve been in ages or intend to go back in ages.  John invited me to his, but I politely refused.  He knows my reasons for being driven away, and he respects them.  I only wish things were different, but you can’t help hypocrits and fuckheads, can you?

So I came back today in time to watch the final of Australia’s Braniest Kid – good on ya WIlliam X!  And the final performance of Australian Idol between Emily and Kate.  I really can’t pick who’s going to win this one – they are both SO good!  I was going for Emily all along, but I think toward the end of it, I’m leaning more toward Kate.  Emily just seems to be the type to release an R&B album, wheras Kate’s more… mysterious I guess.  I really don’t mind who wins, I’m jsut glad Lee came third place.  Go Emily! Go Kate!  Not that they’ll ever read this or know me, but hey the spiritual support is there! 🙂  I just fnished watching the "Kylie: Showgirl" special.  It was nice of her to release that, and her new tour dates are early next year sometime.  God that means I gotta hang onto my ticket for another year!  But they say only a few hundred tickets have been returned for refunds, out of tens of thousands (I’m presuming) that have sold.  The televised highlights concert tonight could have been for publicity, but it was nice of her to give us a peek anyway, considering now we have to wait another year, but hey that’s not her fault.  I hope she gets well.  It’s just unreal how famous she is.  I’ve still got my ticket safe.  Only one.  Speaking of tickets, my Hilary Diff tickets still haven’t shown up at my old address, so I’m a bit pissed off about that, and looks like I may ahve to fill out a ‘Lost tickets" form or however that works cos Australia Post dunno what the fuck they are doing.  I’m presuming it got lost there somewhere, either that or our old place threw out the l

etter even though we specifically asked them to hold onto it.  So I’m gunna have to tell Merv not to panic, but the tickets haven’t arrived yet.  It’s been like 2 weeks – tickets do not usually take that long to arrive!  It should be a good concert though, and it will be good to hang out with Merv that night too – who knows, he may want to go clubbing afterwards.  He’s a complete hottie so he’d have no trouble picking up if he wanted to that night.  It’s just a pity he lives in Toowoomba, or else we’d hang out a lot more often I’d say.  His ex bf/housemate (also one of my ex boyfriends) is moving to Innisfail in about 3 weeks!  That’s so gunna suck, I’m hardly ever gunna get to see him.  He’s so much fun.  Oh well, like Dan said, "It’s not like we get to see much of each other these days anyway." True, I guess I jsut wasn’t sure how to take to Merv.  Luke’s in Twba at the moment again, and asked me for Merv’s number, and he said they were talking, were gunna go to the movies together.  Hope they do.  I’m jsut glad Luke’s having fun up there.  He really deserves this week’s holiday more than anything.  Now that he’s started uni, and working heaps, he’s gunna be so busy.  I guess that’s why I feel bad about wanting to see him all the time, cos I now know how busy he is, or is going to be the more his course deepens over the next year.  It’s awesome he scored a scholarship for it though!  That totally made his day, and he really wants to pass.  If only there was more time for these things.  Him working heaps and now uni, plus me working full-time, it’s really hard to find time, even for my other friends.  Like I keep promising Bill I’ll hang out with him, but by the time the end of the work-week comes you just don’t feel like doing much, and just wanna sleep.  At John’s all I did was download music and sleep haha.  How exciting.  Oh of course chat to him too.  It’s great he’s getting his life back on track.  I met his housemate, Chris, also.  He seems like a pretty cool guy too, I kinda compare him in looks to John, just a bit more bulky/muscly sorta thing.  He works in the city somewhere, didn’t quite catch the name.  John’s always saying to me I should try chicks sometime, but after watching girls fingering themselves on his computer collection, I think I nearly wanted to throw up,  Maybe if I didn’t look – haha.  But then there’s the ‘getting hard’ thing – would I be able to perform if in that situation with a chick?  That would be embarrassing – well not really, I’d feel more bad for the chick.  i guess me excuse would be, "Well I told you i was gay!" haha.  I’d be astonished to ever find myself that far ahead to even be in that situation with a chick anyway.  I’d have to be totally off my face I think haha, even then I don’t think that’d do it! lol.  I think I need to go watch my "Hung Up – Madonna" video clip to get my mind back on track 😉