Actually getting somewhere!

There was a 40 year old man called Ian, and he had a girlfriend, Edna, who was 80 years old. They only saw each other on Saturdays. He would go to Edna”s house every Saturday, without fail. They would sit down next to each other and Edna would hold Ian”s penis, then Ian would go home after so long.
One week Ian never turned up, but Edna thought nothing of it. Three more weeks went by, and again Ian never turned up. By this time Edna was very concerned about him. She phoned him up and asked, "Where have you been the last four Saturdays?"
Ian replied, "I have been round at Margret”s house."
Shocked Edna shouted, "MARGRET? She is 98 years old, what the hell has she got that I haven”t?"
Ian answered, "Parkinson”s desease!"

Gosh I’ve done a lot the last few days!  Well at least it seems
like I have.  I’m quite proud of myself actually.  Yesterday (through
much procrastination) I cleaned the entire house, did the dishes, filed
documents (which were previously all shoved in a box together, and it was
interesting come tax-time), washed all the clothes, cleaned benches and
generally tidied everything up.  I remember looking around the room
thinking to myself ‘this looks good, really good!’.  I also lavished the
bedroom with an electric blanket for our bed.  Luke was so excited when he saw it cos I’d
put it on the bed and remade the bed and everything.  Lukey
was very thankful for all I’d done, especially the washing.  Washing was
the hardest to do though cos I had to wait for like 3 other people to
finish their washing and get it out of the damn machine before I could
use it!  grrr, ah well, hanging out the washing in pitch darkness was interesting
too, as by the time it was done it was 7pm and being near Winter the sun
goes down really early!  I was amazed last Tuesday driving home from work,
that it was nearly completely dark and it was only 5:10pm!  I was like ‘shit!’
Driving home last Thursday was interesting too cos that’s when I saw the SS
Commodore ute on it’s roof, and they’d blocked off two lanes of traffic. 
So annoying cos I’d merged into the very right lane cos I have to turn right into
Beams Rd further up the road, only to have to merge back into the very left lane
cos of the upturned ute.  Damn it was a nice ute too, midnight black, all done up,
and completely demolished all from a race up Gympie Rd.  I found out the next day that’s
why it had happened, from two hoons racing, and Thursday night is Hoon Night, when all the
teenagers bring out their fast cars and race each other up the streets.
The cops sure have a field day every Thursday I can tell ya that!  It’s
just incredible seeing every single fuel station packed to the brim full of
nice cars – All the rev-heads fueling up for their night session.

I did a lot today too!  I was on a roll.  Luke didn’t have to start til 12pm, so we
laid in bed and had sex and cuddled heaps.  More like he gave me head and I just
cuddled him cos that’s all he wanted to do.  I think he’s tummy is getting better, as
he says it’s not hurting anywhere near as much as it was the last few days.  I’d still
like to know what’s causing it.  I always ask him to make sure everything is okay when
we are in bed together, and he says yes, but then again he may be caught up in the moment
when he says that 😉 I’ve been trying to figure out who’s the horniest out of both of us –
I think it’s him, but I’ve overtaken lately, but he’ll be back to himself in a few weeks
when everything’s sorted out.  We’re not taking any risky chances until we know completely
what’s wrong with my boi.  He is feeling better though, but still has to get his test results.
I’m sure he’ll be fine. 
I got my haircut today.  I got blonde streaks to put in my already sandy kinda blonde hair.
It makes it look SO much better.  I had a really nice young girl by the name of Tamara as my
hairdresser, but I wasn’t really in a stranger-talking mood, so it was mainly small talk like
wher I worked and stuff.  She was extremely nice though, can’t have been anymore than
18 years old, and she was short, so I had to slip down a bit on the chair so she could cut my hair.
She used the streaking cap for my streaks and I mentioned to her that last time I was there, they’d
used 2 bits of plastic and tied it around my hair so I looked like a present.  I loved it!
She said to me she knew what I meant but apaprently only 1 girl there knew how to do that and then
went on to say she had her baby and wasn’t there for a while (cos of Maternity leave I’m presuming), and I remembered
that was the chick who cut my hair last time I was there cos she was really pregnant at the time.  Aww that was nice.
Anyway after I sat there for about 30 mins waiting for it to set, she called me over to the water thingy (as they do)
and washed it off.  This reminded me of a different occasion when I got my hair cut, when a really hot gay guy was massaging my hair,
damn I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.  I think I found out his name was Chris.  This was when I worked at Milton.
Anyway she washed my hair and I went back over to the seat where she’d cut it and damn it looked good.  Well I thought
so anyway.  Every so often I just feel like a change, and I guess it makes me feel like a new person, like I feel a
whole lot better.  I’ll have to see what Luke thinks of it when he gets home from work tonight.  Our friend Lindsay
invited me out for dinner tonight but I said I couldn’t because I couldn’t afford it.  Well technically I could, but
it’s not good for my budget, considering I did spend $80 on an electric blanket, $50 on groceries and fruit and $41 on the haircut and
colour.  I think I should cut down a bit.  Cos I did so much today I got home and called Optus up, in a 4th attempt to get
DSL installed on the home line here.  I hate using dialup cos there’s so much less I can do compared to how much more I could be doing on the net –
I’ll leave that up to your dirty mind’s what that is 🙂  I had this whole bullshit story planned to, and in the end, I ended up getting it
cancelled at the old place, rather than getting it transferred here.  I guess that’s a good thing.  I was only charged $125 disconnection fee,
rather than the $300 d/c fee I thought it was.  And I was going to pay that in DSL fees anyway.  I guess it’s a good thing it worked out this
way cos now I won’t get in trouble for installing DSL on their phone line without their consent.  Sucks I have to stick to dial-up, but hey I
should be happy with w

hat I got, right?
I’ve been spending all afternoon looking up on the net Diabetic Recipes.  I’m trying to find meals that I can cook that Luke can eat. 
Not that he’s a diabetic, but because he refuses to eat sugar.  His mum has always told him that "Sugar is white poison" and one day he decided
to cut all sugary substances out of his diet, which includes cake, chips, yoghurts, juice etc. basically anything that contains added sugar.  I’m
so proud of him to sticking to it cos not once has he had a sugary food since he started, probably a few months ago now!  So yeh I’m trying to find no-sugar
recipes.  I’ve got a few so far, but I’m sure I can find more appealing ones.  I really wanna find something that has
sundried-tomatoes, cos he loves them.  Anyone know any?  haha.
My Billy Gilman "Everything And More" CD’s arrived today too!  What a day!  I’ll be listening to that all night probably.
Love the new emoticons on MSN too, some are so funny, especially the bouncing boobs and the flasher.  haha, god i’m lame. 
I think that’s all I wanted to say today.  Can’t believe I’ve jsut had 3 days off, now I gotta try to get the energy to lug my arse back to work
tomorrow.  Ah well it’s a half day, hopefully it’ll be okay.  And I get Thursday off too, and so does Lukey, so hopefully we can catch up on some tennis,
which we haven’t played in a few weeks now I think.  That’ll be good.  So I work tomorrow, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday, then weekend, then I think 2 more
full weeks of work, and then HOLIDAYS!!!!!! WAHHHHHOOOOO!!!!! Okay, breathe Matt, can’t get too excited….yet.