a hi and a kiss on the lips

Maybe it’s a good thing to write down your thoughts more often.  My life’s an interesting one.  It’s not a perfect one, nor is it a crappy one, yet I couldn’t describe it as mediocre either – definitely above that.  It goes to show that we are never happy with our lives, no matter how great the little things are, we always want more, there always seems to be something missing or something more to achieve.  When we achieve those things, we take them for granted and want more or wish to change something, and if that involves a friend or romantic-interest, it can leave them hurt too.

That’s what I’m trying so hard NOT to do this time.  I’m learning from my mistakes in life and I don’t wanna stuff this one up.  Truth is, since I last wrote in this diary, I’ve started going out with an incredible guy named Luke.  He’s everything I could ever have dreamed of wanting in a boyfriend.  He’s attractive, beautiful, smart, playful, gorgeous eyes and body and he wanted me to be his boyfriend also.  We even live together, just the two of us in a new place, which is only small, but perfect for us as we both really like it.  The place has a tennis court and a pool and we have foxtel in our room for $165 w/k rent.  We thought that was pretty good.  Really long story how we ended up here, but thank goodness we did.  There was a week period where were forced to stay at a friends house for a week living out of a suitcase and a backpack.  Friend’s like that don’t come along very often, but we will never forget the generosity of that friend.  Luke and I started going out on December 23rd, it’s nearly been 2 months.  My longest relationship with a guy has been around about the 2 month mark.  My girlfriend I went out with for 7 months, but I don’t even count that as a relationship cos we hardly ever saw each other.  She still doesnt know I’m gay, must be the only one haha, oh well.

Lukey and I are at the stage in our relationship where we are seeing all the little things that make each other tick and get ticked off are lol.  Like he gets frustrated when we play tennis and his shots don’t go where he intended them to, as he seems to be very competitive.  Me, I really don’t care if a shot is called out, but if it was a proper game and I was trying hard I probably would!  Like Luke tells me to ‘settle down strumpet’ and things like that sometimes when I don’t even realise I’m apparently being angry. lol, I mean I think i’d know if i was angry, but maybe my tone comes across wrong and he takes it as me being angry.  Either way he’s amazing.  I love how sometimes when I’ll arrive home after him, I’ll be greeted with a hi and a kiss on the lips.  I seriously can’t stop looking at him sometimes.  Like just tonight he was sitting on this computer on MSN and I was just looking at him, studying his body and how perfect i thought it, and he, was.  I don’t know whether thats me being lustful or just at peace – I wasn’t thinking sexually yet I was, it was more like I felt at peace, I felt content and that was it.  It’s not like i just went up and jumped him, although I’m sure he wouldn’t mind a bit if I did do that lol.  Anyway as i’m freaking out the straight population of this site I’ll change the topic. 🙂  But it feels good to be able to write that down you know.  And I can come back and read it in like a years time if i’m still not with Luke or even if I am.  I just don’t feel I have the capabilities of a long-term relationship because I haven’t had one, yet I strive for one with Lukey so much.  We’ll just see how long it takes until he gets sick of me.  I mean I still can’t believe I’m with an Adonis so beautiful.  I was single for a year and a half (if you don’t count Mick) and then Luke comes along…we went out to dinner last night for a belated-valentines dinner.  We went to Stars at Southbank.  The food was SO nice, and Luke’s company was amazing as always.  We were holding each others hand as the waitress took our order, it was obvious to her we were, despite the table partially blocking her view hehe.  We gave that place the thumbs up for next time.  The food was great, and the service was extremely friendly – Luke even wanted to write them a letter! 🙂

Anyway that’s basically the update on my life.  I’m still at Woolies but the jobs easier.  We get a new manager in a few weeks so it’ll prob go back to being hard soon though!  I wish every day was a public holiday at work.  You know just for working 8 hours on Australia Day I earnt $304!?  I was like “WHOA!” when I read the paycheck.  That one day was like the rest of my weeks wages lol.  Anyway thanks if you read this.  I just remembered this site now that I have the internet back, so thought i’d drop you guys a line.  I’m still reading all my old friends entries, so keep em coming!  I love you all.

-Matt