Drowning in Hellfire

It doesn’t take long for it to come back,

This stinging pain within me.

Yet again the world becomes dimmer, and darker,

Reminding me that the path longer, tougher, harder than I ever imagined.

It brings my hope down and my anxiety up.

I learn what to do but my body freezes up in paralysis, took weak to take action.

I’m not sure what’s wrong with me.

I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes,

And they don’t seem to have any end in sight.

But I seem to be in a downward spiral.

Sometimes I think I wasn’t just cut out for this whole "life" thing..

The air gets thinner,

and it grabs me again,

Pulling me under.

I want to cry out for help. Scream, even.

But what right do I have?

Burdening others is how I got here.

Nobody would hear me anyway, I’ve tried.

If it’s pain I’m destined to feel, then I guess I’ll be used to it

whenever this hellish ride finally ends.