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I don’t really want to write today. I have a lot of confusing thoughts going through my head. We opened our store today for the first time to friends and family only. It went great; at least I thought it did. My second customer I asked who their friend was and they stated the general manager. I stuck my foot in my mouth and asked a question I probably should not have. I asked how his brother passed. I gather that it might have been suicide, though I think it was cancer. He was a police officer and 36-years-old, but it wasn’t my place to ask. If the general manager asks me about it I will simply say I research the people I work for. I know about several of the managers, district managers, the CEO and the owners of the store. Though that was a personal question and should have been left alone. I just have a heavy heart for my general manager. He always smiles, is very kind, and sometimes those that have the biggest smiles are those that hurt the most.
On another note, the house I lived in before I moved to the apartment, I never told the guy I was moving. I also never forgot that he loved Cabela’s and I sent him one of my friends and family cards. He ended up showing up. I was a bit embarressed (sp?), because I didn’t recognize him and he kindly called me out. He was gracious and kind. I gave him my new number, and promised to always give him the friends and family when we got them or to help him out at Cabela’s if I could. He isn’t a Christian, but he forgave me.
I decided to build a website. It is important to me. I am building a website to write about my journey with Cancer. I am finally fully insured and so are my children. I got my family doctor to fax my medical records to a doctor here in Columbus. I got a call today, with a voice message, asking if my family would be available to be tested for a bone marrow transplant. I will ask them after this week when I have a moment to breath from opening week. I have been told all along I needed a bone marrow transplant, but I need my red blood cells to be up to a certain limit. My body does not build or store red blood cells as it should, leaving me severely anemic all the time. If my red blood cells are not 6 (normal is 9; average is 4-12, mine is below 4 almost always), then they will not be able to do the bone marrow. I guess knowing someone is a match is good, because the second they get my levels to 6 then we can call them for the transplant.
I don’t much care for my manager. He gives mixed signals, leaving me really confused about why he hired me in the first place. He doesn’t act as though he likes me and he does not give me much attention. Every other manager, every other lead recognizes me for something, but not him. He has not once complimented me and it leaves me feeling confused. Yes, I am full-time with benefits, but I feel demoted otherwise. He has stripped me of some of the advantages I had at the other store and not doing all he has promised. I just feel like there is no doing right by him. I was so proud tonight, because I got someone to sign up for a club card. He yelled at me, because I did not suspend their transaction until they got back. However, there was no line, no one waiting, so it wasn’t necessary. It was like since I did something good he wanted to push me down so I couldn’t enjoy it. I felt confused. He yelled at me and I replied, "Yes, sir" He said, "Okay," and walked away. Later he came to me and was polite in asking me to do something for him. I think my kindness and politeness through him off.
Well… I don’t have much to say. I already said a lot more then I planned on saying. I may or may not write again tomorrow. Tomorrow I work a 10-hour shift. I was suppose to work 4-7 tonight, but I worked until 10. The reason it was a short shift is because we were only open five hours today and they wanted to give all the employees time to shop if they wanted.