Very tough day!

I started feeling sick last night, not feverish really just like there was a bomb about to go off in my head, a dull ache, with lots of pressure, stuffiness.  By morning I started feeling like I had a fever.  I took three advil, made myself some coffee in our new Kuerig machine, and at 9am I had an interview with our company for a district position.  I was told right away that I would not be considered for the position, because "you can’t ride a motorcycle, before you ride a bike" type thing.  Basically, you have to be a manager/SR. manager before you can be a district manager, but she wanted to interview anyway just to get my outlook on the company and help me out in future interviews.  She also said any time I have an interview for any interview within the company I could call her and she would give me a mock interview for that position to help me move into that roll. Honestly, I thought it was one of the best interviews ever, but I was kind of hoping, praying someone saw something special in me and for one brief moment thought I might be trainable.  

I interviewed day before yesterday for a lead position within our company at the store I am at.  Basically, it means you help out the managers.  My friend Kacey texted me today and told me that Ebony, another girl, who has worked for the company three years, got the position.  Maybe she is more qualified, but what makes you qualified.  Everyone wanted me in that roll, because I smile, I am not bossy or mean.  I work with people at their level and try to train them from where they are.  I texted Kacey back professionally, and said, she deserved it, she had been with the company three years, and was more qualified, but it hurt really bad.  I honestly felt like that position was mine, but since I got hired my manager has given me hours, but basically abandoned me.  He doesn’t tell me where he wants me, never knows where I am working.  He plays favorites.  Him and Ebony have been tight from the beginning.  I just hoped that my thank you note for the interview, my professionalism, and the fact that I help in other departments and make myself open to everyone would shine through, but it didn’t.  My final hope is that one of the leads there now is most likely not going to end up staying.  Now that Ebony is that position that only leaves me, unless he hires from the inside.  I don’t believe I should have heard through a text message.  My manager knew yesterday.  He could have called me into his office and talked to me, or he could have waited until we were both on shift.  

I still haven’t heard back from Colorado, but I am still secretly hoping for a position there.  It makes me sad, that I have yet to hear from them.  There is so many great things I can do and will do for the company in the future.  All I can do is continue to show my hard work and persistence until I move up with the company.

My daughter, Whitney’s, school called today.  They listed her as autistic.  I have always thought this, as when people say things to her she either takes them literal, or laughs with them when they are laughing at her.  She does look at people and have social skills.  However, autism in girls and guys is different.  It upsets Whitney, but I believe this to be one of her only options of getting into a good school.  She is being offered a scholarship based on this.  In the meantime she is taking an additional year of high school so she can do a work program, like college and high school and take Culinary Arts to get a Culinary Degree while in high school.  She is thrilled about this and I think a great opportunity. 

Well… I am not felling good.  I just wanted to write.