My Head Might Explode

So much is going on at work. Of course it would happen this week too, while my boss is on vacation. Luckily, she doesn’t cut off the world while she’s gone, so she’s helped me deal with the insane stuff that could only happen to me. :/ I don’t even remember the last time I wrote, so I might be repeating something if it was after Sunday. Anyways, Sunday morning I got a phone call (several, actually) from my backup assistant. The girl working that night needed me to come in so she could go to the hospital. She was pregnant (I knew, but wasn’t supposed to.) and was bleeding pretty heavily and needed to go to the ER. I was miserable, who wouldn’t be when they’re woken up two hours early to go in to work when they’ve only gotten 2 1/2 hours of sleep, but I went in. I would have regardless, but I rushed because I’ve been in that situation. I wound up working 8 hours alone (Braxton Hicks starting halfway through because I couldn’t sit down and rest.) plus 3 hours with help that I wasn’t allowed to leave alone, so I had no chance to go home early. I was pure exhausted. Monday, things calmed down, but Tuesday brought craziness to the store. We got our order in and it just went downhill from there. One of our vendors confused the living fuck out of both me and the girl I was working with (who has been there for over 10 years!) because she had no clue what the fuck she was doing. That took around an hour of my time. Then, I had to finish doing the manager stuffs in the office and I barely finished it. When the relief showed up at 2 I wound up staying almost 20 minutes late because one of the clerks didn’t feel well and wanted to know if I could cover him. I couldn’t, so after I left I spent another several hours texting him to figure out how to cover the last hour of his shift if he needed to leave. I figured the worst was over and that today would be easy. Ha! It started out that way… We had everything done early, so when I headed to the office it should have been smooth sailing. SHOULD HAVE! I had a couple interruptions, beer man needed me, coworker needed the scanner… Then my coworker knocked on the door again. Supposedly, the night clerk girl sold to a minor and they got into an accident. I spent the rest of the day on the phone with my boss and her boss and searching the cameras. I’m not sure how true the accusations are, but I’m hoping like hell they’re false. I don’t wish for it to be someone else, but I hope like hell they’ve got the wrong store. I found what I needed, but now I’m waiting to see if the police show up. Then it’s a bitter battle of "He said, she said" pretty much. I’m just so damn exhausted from all this. Plus, I had a mental breakdown a few days ago. I was in the office and something reminded me of my mom. I can’t even remember what it was, but I started crying and just couldn’t stop. I cried pretty much the entire 2 hours I was in there. I guess I needed it. Then, I almost had another one today before all the crazy shit happened. See, I found out that the girl I mentioned earlier plans on getting an abortion. Now, everyone knows my views on that, but that’s not the point. It just kills me. I try my hardest not to judge people for making that decision. It’s very personal and despite the fact that I am firmly against it, I refuse to treat someone poorly because I don’t agree with their decision, even if I see it as pure murder. It just kills me that people who don’t want children and who are actively trying to prevent having them get pregnant, when it took me so long. Granted, we tried off and on for several years, but even when we weren’t actually "trying" we never used any form of contraception. Out of 4 years, there was a 3 month period that we didn’t have sex (We were split up.) and the rest of the time we weren’t "trying" but we weren’t exactly preventing either. Plus, one of my other coworkers has been actively trying for almost a year and half and nothing. My heart breaks for her and it just hurts my heart so much that people throw something so precious away. I must say though, the only 2 people I know who’ve chosen abortion (That I know of.) chose it for perfectly sound reasons, and maybe that’s why I’m not so judgmental. I admit though, I’m one of those people who can clearly see both sides of things, so I tend to be more understanding in many situations than other people. I just wish the world wouldn’t be so ass backwards. Why can’t the people who don’t want kids be born unable to have them and people who want bunches be born super fertile? It just makes so much more sense than a wonderful couple struggling for years, loss after loss or not even being able to conceive while a crackhead has 10 kids and can’t even support themselves. (Note, I am NOT calling this girl a crackhead. Now, my ex assistant who has 5 kids by at least 3 different me, who was found with a heroin needle in her arm while pregnant with #3, was in jail while pregnant with #5, and was so doped up on shit half the time that she was a horrid bitch to her kids… Now that’s a crackhead.) Anyways, I just needed to vent about that situation. I’ve fought so hard to conceive my son and I’m currently hating being pregnant. (Pregnancy after loss is just week after week of expecting the worst while hoping for the best.) Plus, I already look like a cow! Oh, let me upload pics!

Since I lost the pic I had from the day I found out, this is my before pic.

Week 9 Week 20 (Today!)

I think some of my earliest ones were deleted when I uploaded them at home. -_-

Can’t forget my lopsided bump, starting at week 10 or 11. (I started to pop at 9! O_O)

And of course, our little man announcing to the world that he’s having a baby brother. <3

So see, I look like a cow already. I wasn’t this big with Ville until I was almost 7 months along, so I feel insanely huge. Anyway, I think I’m done for real now, unless I go all ADD again. >_> Until next time. Much love.