Long, Triggering Day
Even after getting very little sleep Friday night, I still had trouble getting to sleep last night. When I finally did pass out (between 10:30 and 11:00) I woke up every half hour, tossing and turning. Then, at 2 am my store called me. I didn’t wake up until one of my coworkers blew up my phone by calling me more times than I care to count. Turns out the girl at work was pregnant (I knew, but wasn’t "supposed" to.) and had started bleeding pretty badly. As much as I didn’t want to get up two hours early after pretty much no sleep, I knew I couldn’t let her stay and work. Even if she wasn’t most likely losing her baby, she was losing a lot of blood and needed to go to the ER. I got up and went in and worked 8 hours of the now 11 hour long shift alone. I should have called someone in because after standing for an entire 8 hours I was having some serious Braxton HIcks again. Luckily the girl is fine, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask her about the baby via text message. I’ll leave it up to her if she wants to talk. I’ve always been very open about my miscarriage and I did tell her about mine this morning when she kept apologizing for waking me up. I wasn’t upset at her at all, I was mostly just drained. I feel so numb most of the time and it gets worse when I’m so tired. I don’t think little Liam likes the Braxton Hicks because he kicks around less when I have them. They stopped not long after I got off work and put my feet up and he’s just started kicking again around an hour ago. Apparently they aren’t harmful to him, but I’m paranoid. I’m also starving and their is no food in this house. I could probably make the steaks we brought, but I don’t want Darryl’s mom bitching about the way I make my food. Besides, I’m just too damn lazy to actually cook something myself. I’m half tempted to nap and get up when Darryl gets off to see if he brought me the fish I’m craving. I swear, I’ve done nothing but eat all day. This kid has got me eating more than his father. Aside from eating, all I want to do is sleep and I can’t seem to do that either. I’m tired of being tired yet unable to sleep. I feel like I’m slowly losing my mind. On top of that, my boss is on vacation this week, so I’m stuck working every single day except Thursday. Meaning, I have to be up before the damn sun rises every day and I have to go to work and do things that require a bit more attention than I can give them in this state. I might be fucked. Oh well, I’ll manage somehow. For now, I’m going to go wrestle my kid off the computer so we can spend some time together before I pass out. Much love.
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