Have you ever taken goggles into the shower with you? Nope. (Still no.)

Have you ever stared at the blobs in a lava lamp for more than an hour? Not an hour, but for a good 10 minutes maybe. (Same)

Do you feel bad for a spider when someone steps on it? Kinda. (Yup.)

Have you ever wondered why M&M’s are the color they are? No, but why can’t they be every color like Skittles? (No, but what did I mean?)

Did you ever memorize how to spell supercalafragilisticexpialedocious? Nope. (Nope)

Do you know the names of all the American presidents? Nope, only a few.  (I know like 10.)

Do you still wonder if Elvis is alive? No, they had a body right? That’s all the proof I need. (Same.)

Have you ever treid to jump off the roof of your house? No. I wanted to, but my mom wouldn’t let me. (Nope.)

Do you own a Chia-pet? Nope. (Still no. Why would owning one make you insane though?)

Do you consider all blondes to be dumb? Well, I’m naturally blonde (ugh.) and I’m not dumb, so no. (Nope, but I can be ditzy, stereotypically.)

Do you have 0 TV’s in your house? Nope, we have 3. (We did for a while, since we had to pawn it when Darryl got arrested. We have 2 now.)

Do you have more than 10 pet’s living in your house? We did at one point when our 2 girl cats had kittens. We’re getting close to that with dogs now. (Nope, we have 4 dogs.)

Is your favorite movie of all time rated G? No, but my favorite Disney classic is. (I don’t even really have a favorite movie at this point, but I do watch Moana like 3 times a day, thanks to it being my daughter’s favorite.)

Do you have an Atari system in your house? Yup, a couple. (No, and I don’t remember having one so why did I say a couple?)

Do you buy more than 5 CDs a week? Nope, but I would if I had the money. (HAHAHAHAHA! CD’s….. I have Amazon Music!)

is your favorite color tangerine? No, is that even really a color? (Nope. Either red and black or pink and lime green. Depends on the day.)

Is your favorite food turtle soup? Nope, pizza. (Eew, no. I’d have to say some type of fruit.)

Do you ever spend more time in your house than you do with your friends? Used to. (Yesssssss! I’m such a huge homebody!)

Have you ever watched an entire episode of the Teletubbies? It was on when I babysat, but I never paid attention because they gave me a headache. (Thankfully no.)

Did you ever have an imaginary friend when you were little? Yeah, who didn’t? (Yup.)

do you ever talk to yourself? Yup, I’m the only one who listens. (Yeah, mostly at work though.)

Do you sing in the shower? Yup. (Um, who doesn’t?)

Do you have more than 5 body piercings? Nope. (No, just 4 until my job allows face piercings.)

Do you have hidden video cameras in your house? No, but my neighbors do. (Nope.)

Did you ever think the government was spying on you? Me and everyone else too. That’s why they keep putting all the satellites up. (I’m pretty sure this has been confirmed…)

Do you cover yourself in tin-foil and put coat hangers on the ceiling? Only when the cable won’t come in right. Just kidding, of course not. (Nope.)

Do you make things out of dollar bills when you are bored at the lunch tables? We used to make footballs out of them. (Haven’t done this in years.)

Have you ever won a contest in which you had to guess “How many beans are in the jar”? No, but I was pretty close. (Still haven’t won.)

Have you ever trash picked? Yeah because my rings tend to fall off a lot. (Yup, when my wedding ring fell off in a bag.)

Can you fling stuff out of your nose? Never tried. (Yes I can.)

Do you know the meaning of life? Nope. (Still no, but I know at least some of my purpose.)

Have you ever bullied someone smaller than you just because you thought it would be funny? Nope. (Still no.)

Do you count down the amount of days left in the school year? Yup, cuz this time I’m out for good. (Yes, with my kids.)

Do you often see things that aren’t really there? Yeah, but it’s usually only when I quickly glance at something. (This is still true.)

Do you see dead people? Only at wakes and open casket funerals. (Not usually.)

Is this a yes or no question? Yeah, but you could answer weirdly and make it not. (Yes.)

Have you ever worn clothes that belonged to someone else? Yeah, hand me downs, my friend’s clothes, and I wear Darryl’s shirts and pj bottoms. (All the time!)

Do you enjoy tight clothing? Not too tight, but tight enough to show off my figure. (Not right now because I am huge.)

Have you ever gone a whole week without brushing your teeth? When I was little because I forgot a lot. (Only when I was little.)

Do you sleep with the lights on? If I don’t feel like getting up to turn them off. (Not at this house. I did at our last house though because I was afraid of being there alone.)

Do you consider money to be a form of evil? Well, it’s the cause not the form. (No, it’s the root of evil.)

Have you ever played bloody knuckles? Yup, never lost. (No?)

Have you ever had the urge to have a pickle and peanut butter sandwich? Yeah, but with other stuff on it. (I eat some really weird shit and not because I’m pregnant.)  (I don’t really remember this, but I do eat some weird things.)

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Eww, no. (Kinda. More like I thought he was attractive, not really a “crush.”)

Do you believe fairy tales do come true? Nope. (No. I’m happy with life, but it’s definitely not a fairy tale.)

Do you believe in supersition? Yeah, I’m kinda superstitious. (Sometimes.)

Do you watch cartoon shows every day? Sometimes. (Yes, I mean, I do have kids.)

Do you read books for fun? Yeah. (Of course.)

 

Every question you answered YES to is worth 2% of insanity, so count up every question you answered YES to then multiply it by 2 and that is your insanity percentage, count “maybe or “sometimes” as 1%.