I Kind Of Just Want To Scream

I’m sick and tired of constantly being stuck on the register by myself at work. I get it, I can’t do the stuff I used to be able to do, not that I did much anyway since everyone constantly left me on register anyways, but I used to be able to run off and do something! Now I’m stuck. Certain things have to be done and I’m not allowed to do a lot of them. I can’t lift, I can’t climb, hell I can’t even do the fucking trash because it can get heavy. So, I’m stuck on register while the person I’m with does it all. I hate being on register, like HATE it. I am not a people person and when they are rude I cannot keep my mouth shut. I lost my temper several times today over people acting stupid because I was alone while the girl I was working with cleaned out the storage room. When she was done I insisted on mopping. It was so not even worth it because I was winded and in pain by the time I was done. I had to come home and put a heating pad on my lower back. Grr. I used to love being pregnant, and I would enjoy it, but I’ve lost that sense of wonder and its been replaced with anxiety and mood swings. I guess its true that the innocence of pregnancy is lost when you lose a pregnancy. *Sigh* To top everything off Darryl and I kind of got into it over him deciding (yet again) to put in more time at work. He decided he wanted to stay until the other half of the restaurant closes at 4, so he won’t get out until 5ish. It wasn’t so much a fight as it was me getting annoyed and hanging up on him and then us discussing everything via text after I got off work. I get that he wants to move before the baby’s born, but we kind of need to have time together before he’s born too. I guess I just want it all and these damn hormones are not helping. I think there was more I was going to write about, but I should have been asleep like 2 1/2 hours ago at least, so I’m going to lay down and attempt to sleep. It’s going to be a loooooooooong night because I hate sleeping alone. Oh well, such is life I guess. Much love.

 

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Rhonda Ford

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