all by myself

people ask me how i am doing all the time. i tell them im fine and smile and act the happy go lucky fool.

in fact i am devastated and trapped. i am drowning. i need to away from here but where would i go?

i no longer wish to be alive, i haven’t for two years now.

i cant reach out. theres no one to reach out to.

i just cant any longer.

in 21 days she would have been 57.

one month and 2 weeks later she will be dead for 2 years.

i know that inside i am broken.

i know theres no way to fix that.

if not for my dogs i would walk away.

finally end this thing that has taken root in my chest.

be free.