Two Emails

The first email is to Kenny’s teacher

Ms. J,
 
On Monday, Kenny brought home a stuffed tiger from school. He said that Mrs. S (OD note: Mrs. S is the "Dean of Students at Kenny’s school) gave it to him to keep. And he said the tiger’s name was “Kafoody” which I’m guessing is supposed to be “Keep Your Hands Feet and all Other Objects To Yourself.” He was very excited and shared it nicely with his 3 year old brother.  Actually, he let Evan play with it ALL evening on Monday, but the tiger slept in bed with Kenny.
 
This evening, he reluctantly told us that you said that the tiger must go back to school, but that it was “OK if he forgot again.” He was QUITE upset when we put the tiger into his backpack. In the future, when sending home SPECIAL things that are meant to be shared amongst the other students and must be returned to class, please send some sort of note or email explaining this to myself and the other parents. I know you “expect a lot” from your students (which is GREAT), but I feel this was too much to ask – especially on the 3rd day of school for Kindergarten.  If I had known that the tiger was for sharing, I would have been able to ask “prompting questions” to help him remember more and give me the whole story. Kenny told me what he remembered and I’m glad he did. But he was under the impression that the tiger was his to keep forever, regardless of what was actually said in school. I told him that if the tiger was for everybody to share, then the tiger must go back. Kenny and I talked about it a lot so that he understands that he must give me more information about special things from school, and he’s upset but he understands. He knows that he is not in trouble with us (because I feel Kenny really thought the tiger was for him to keep) and I would appreciate it if you didn’t punish or make a big deal out of him having the tiger for 2 nights instead of one.
 
If the tiger isn’t for sharing and is for him to keep, I am sorry for the misunderstanding. I am (again) going off of what my 5 year old is telling me. If the tiger is not for him to keep, please let me know so that I can explain it to my 3 year old as well. Right now, he doesn’t know that the tiger is gone and he’ll be looking for it after I get off of work tomorrow.
 
Sincerely,
 

Keepsake

The second email is to Nathan:
(OD Note: On Tuesday, a note was sent home with Kenny stating that I had not paid the $52.20 for the year for his after lunch snack of milk and small snack food. I paid this fee when I registered Kenny.)

No wonder Evan is king of the temper tantrums. I’m as bad as he is. 🙁 I got an email from the school stating that Kenny’s lunch account was now in the negative too. After yesterday’s letter home about the afternoon milk money, I pretty much lost it. I called the school and asked to talk to the lunch lady (I had her name from the email). The receptionist told me that the email had been sent to EVERY parent and to disreguard it. I told her it wasn’t soley about the email because yesterday a note was sent home with my son about the afternoon milk fee and I needed to speak with the lunch lady. I got the lunch lady and I tried to remain calm as I explained the situation with the check (apparently, Ms. Jackson hadn’t given her my note yet – even though it was 2:30). I had to repeat myself a couple of times and I could hear it in my voice – the frustration and anger rising up. I told her I understood about the email, but that it was up to her and the school to find the money for the milk since I paid for the entire year. I told her that the note I sent back contained the check number, so she should be able to get the information from the front office. And then she said she’d take care of it and I tried to sound nice when I said "thanks" but I’m pretty sure it sounded really snotty. Then she said have a nice day and I replied you too and bye and hung up the phone.
 
My temper is going to make life harder for the boys at school if I can’t get it under control. I’m going to be known as "that mom." The one who just jumps down everybody’s throats. And the teachers and staff will subconsciously treat the boys differently.
 
I know where the anger comes from though. All I could think of when the milk money note came home last night was how awful I felt in school when I had to take my hot lunch back up to the main window to get a PBJ sandwich because my mom hadn’t been able to buy me a new lunch ticket. It happened more than once. And the lunch lady was never subtle or nice about it. I NEVER want Kenny or Evan to feel that. Not ever. It’s horrible. So when I got that email about his lunch account being in the negative, it hit a nerve. I’m responsible. We’re responsible. We pay our bills and take care of our kids. They don’t need to be shamed with an alternative lunch because we don’t do what needs to be done.  I lost it. I did. I saw red. My mom wasn’t able to always pay, and it wasn’t always her fault. It’s the first week of school and I’m already getting notices like this. I can only imagine how my mom felt when she’d get those notices and not be able to do anything about it.  </span>
 
I don’t know. It still bothers me. I’m trying to let it go, but it’s got a good grip right now.
 
 

I could seriously just cry out of the frustration of it all. I never wanted to get a notice like that. I don’t want people to think I’m not able to pay my/our bills. I know what that feels like and I never want to feel that way again. Those two notices brought back all those feelings.

I have received NO response from Kenny’s teacher about the tiger. I’m assuming since he didn’t bring it home last night, the tiger is to be shared amongst all the students. A – It is incredibly rude to not respond to my email. B – That’s DISGUSTING. That tiger is going to be completely foul if every kid gets to take him home for a night. C – What I wanted to put into the letter but didn’t was that I now have to try and replace that tiger because Evan is completely heartbroken that it is gone. He rarely gets very attached to anything other than his one teddy bear, so it breaks my heart that he is sad and misses his "baby." 
Nathan sent me a funny little email graphic of somebody strangling a phone. It made me smile, which was the point. He has agreed to take care of anything financial with the schools from now on. He will write the lunch money check for me to put in Kenny’s pack, or he will take care of it online (when the site is up).
The universe did smile down on us though yesterday. It was GORGEOUS outside, so we played in the backyard for an hour. Then, we went to Sonic for dinner and sat outside. Evan ate without fuss. Kenny ate without fuss. My chilie cheese dog was amazing. On the radio, Louis Armstrong singing "Wonderful World" came on. That’s mine and Nathan’s song. It always has been. We just sat there across the table from each other and smiled like idiots at each other. We get home and we play some more and then Evan told me he had to use the potty! And he actually went POO and PEE in there! He’s not gone poo for me in the potty except once and he NEVER tells me when he has to go. I have to prompt him. Bedtime was a breeze too.