The High Colon-ic Survey

The High Colon-ic Survey

1.) If I could tell the world just one thing it would be: Tough question. If we’re talking about the planet, I’d tell it I was sorry. If we’re talking about the population ON the planet, I’d say Sit the fuck down and listen to each other BEFORE you start wars. Maybe then we wouldn’t NEED them.

2.) If nobody could see me I would: spy for the highest bidder

3.) The movie I remember most from when I was little is: Garfield’s Halloween Special

4.) If I could only use four adjectives to describe myself they would be: Thin, talkative, unsure, silly

5.) When I was little I wanted to be: an astronaut. I would have done it too if I didn’t suck so much at math.

6.) If I could only use ten words for the rest of my life they would be: I, you, yes, no, love, hate, want, that, maybe, other

7.) Without giving away the meanings, some of my weirdest inside jokes are: VAPORS

8.) The definition of "is" is: a word showing an action or object as current?

9.) I am superstitious about: talking ill of the dead and jinxing myself so I knock on wood.

10.) The stupidest question anyone’s ever asked me is: What’s it like to be a twin? How the hell should I know, I’ve never NOT been one.

11.) The age I am most looking forward to is: Retirement, whenever the hell I can afford it.

12.) Someday I would like to be: a published author.

13.) The last object I noticed that struck me as sexual although it wasn’t intended to be was: On a children’s television program called Yogabbagabba most of the imaginary characters remind me of sex toys.

14.) The last time I slammed a door it was because: I didn’t realize that the door had just been oiled. It slammed HARD and I scared the bejeezus out of my cats.

15.) The last person I gave a present to was: Jodi.

16.) The first thing I’d do with a stick of dynamite is: give it to somebody else to use. I’m accident prone and would end up blowing myself up with it.

17.) The pop culture reference that escapes my lips most often is: “Laters” from 50 Shades of Gray. I can’t get that idiot saying out of my head even though the books were so damn awful.

18.) The three everyday things that baffle me the most are: I leave for work 5 minutes late, and end up 15 minutes late to the office. I leave for work 5 minutes early and end up 20 minutes early to the office. My genius level son is so smart, and yet cannot remember to wipe his butt. Coffee. How did we discover the joy of this drink?

19.) Without giving away the question, my last answer to a truth question (in truth or dare) was: Oh, crap. I don’t know. The last time I played I was probably in high school. I’ll just give a random answer that I know I said. “Yes, I am a virgin.”

20.) The origin of this survey was probably: The creator himself. james ensor