Her reply and my reply to her

So this is the email I received this morning:

I understand all you have said. I never wanted you to know how tough it has been which is why I have never asked you for money. The garnishment was for the car loan I had with car credit city. I tried making payment arrangements with them but it didn’t happen. It was supposed to end in June but because of miscommunication there was an additional amount that carried it through until now. I will be paying my car bill, electricity, charter, daycare, half of December rent and January rent, cell bill. I also need to get the car in for an oil change and probably for front tires but we will wait on that until i have the bills paid. Until the refunds come through the loan payments will come out biweekly on my payday. This loan will allow me to get ahead of everything and back on the budget I had setup before the garnishment threw it all off. I am blaming no one but myself. I was too proud to ask for help before it got this bad. I am living scarce as it is. I have bought Tesia a pair of shoes. Mom has bought her clothes. The only extra she does is Girl Scouts which costs little to nothing. I’m sorry you are angry with me. I guess we should just take a break until you and N aren’t angry with me. All I can say is I’m trying. This next year will be better especially after June when my car is paid off which will be an extra 330 a month. 

The last thing I wanted was for you to feel anger. It’s embarrassing to come to your younger sister with these problems. I’m sorry.  I can’t feel any worse than I already do. I know Tesia deserves better than me.

This was my next response to her:

Tesia doesn’t deserve better than you. You are her mom and she loves you. And in all honesty that’s what she needs. I wish you would feel confident enough in our relationship as SISTERS that you could come to me with problems before they got out of hand. I would have gladly helped you then and with just a minor bit of frustration instead of the anger I had earlier this week.

I’m fine now. It’s done. I’m not angry anymore and N never was angry. He never gets angry. Besides, having another loan that gets paid off will only help my credit score.

I could not get the loan up to $3000 as they don’t "normally do loans to pay off personal finances." Will you be OK with that extra $500? I want you to be able to give Tesia a good Christmas and pay off everything. If you need the $500 I’ll loan it to you so that there’s not a problem. You can pay me back with your school money or tax refunds since the loan is coming out automatically from your paycheck. I’m OK with that situation for the two year time. I know you will keep your job, so I know the loan will continue to be paid off. N has agreed to this.

Let me know.

She hasn’t responded yet. I don’t know if she will or not. I HATE IT when she plays the "Tesia deserves better than me" card. She ALWAYS does that and it’s freaking annoying. She shouldn’t use her daughter to get pity for herself. I respond the same way every single time. "Tesia doesn’t deserve better than you. You are her mom and she loves you. And in all honesty that’s all she needs." Same way, every time. I don’t give her the sympathy she so desperately wants. If you notice, I also didn’t apologize for what I said in my previous email. I didn’t change my mind on anything. All I did was offer to get the loan she required up to $3,000. She will pay me back if she needs the money. I want her caught up on ALL of her bills. I’m so sick of this crap.

The loan officers at the bank would not give her a loan even if I cosigned it. The loan had to be put in my name with her as secondary. I had to open an account at her bank (which she doesn’t have access to) so I could get the loan. The money will come out of her paycheck automatically. She got a good interest rate (thanks to me) and two years to pay off the loan (though I do hope she pays it off sooner).