Grandma’s Things

So, a couple of months ago, my Grandmother died. She was a great lady. But on top of all her goodness, she was a PROLIFIC collector of Salt and Pepper shakers. In the end, she had 578 pairs (counted by my Aunt S). Here’s the family drama. It has long been understood and stated that all the S&P’s were supposed to go to my older sister Heather. Heather is my Grandmother’s TRUE granddaughter. I was adopted (chosen) by my grandmother and her first husband. They didn’t HAVE to love me and treat me as a granddaughter, but they did and I’m a better person for it. Anyhow, Heather is upset because Aunt S has been going through all the shakers and posting on Facebook about how she’s trying to figure out who to give a set too and WHICH set. She didn’t even ask Heather if she’d like first go at the S&P’s. Nothing. But, Heather is trying to be big about it. I told her to think how much work Aunt S has saved her by going through them all and culling the herd of them (you’d be surprised how much space 578 pairs of S&P’s take up).

Well, Heather and Aunt S had a snippy email back and forth a couple months ago (before Grandma died I believe). And I’m guessing that’s why Aunt S sent ME a message on Facebook about the S&P’s and not Heather. Below is the text of it all.

Aunt S: Trying to decide who gets what – can you tell me animals, activities, etc. you, Kat, and Jeremy like . . . I know Heather likes penguins.

Keepsake: Thanks! I know that Jeremy likes ducks. Kat is still into Elvis and teaching. We all love music. Tesia loves anything girlie. She’s such a princess. Really anything from Grandma will be loved. What has been decided about Grandma’s Cabbage Patch doll, Red? I have such great memories of Grandma calling Red her baby. If nothing has been decided about her, I would love to have her to remember Grandma by.

We would love to come for a visit with the kids too. Is there a weekend where we could come out? Or Heather and I are more than willing to come and help you with things too. Please let me know!

Aunt S: I was given strict instructions that Little Red is to remain with Grandpa. Any other info you can give me – favorite places, things to do?

Keepsake: I’m so glad there’s a plan for Little Red. I just wanted to make sure she didn’t end up in a Good Will box. I couldn’t tell from my memories as a child if Grandma was just telling me Red was her baby because I was playing with her and she was teasing me, or if she really meant that about the doll. It gives me a happy feeling to know that she actually meant that about her. Thanks for letting me know.

More information, hmmmmm. This going to end up me typing randomly as thoughts come into my head – sorry about that.

Well, Kat and I both loved our trip out to California our senior year. We went to Disney and Kat loves Mickey Mouse. I personally like Goofy more, but Disney was AWESOME and so much fun.

Jeremy is a fan of big cities like New York and Chicago. He also likes off the wall and vibrant things and to dance and have fun. The rubber duckie fascination has been one of his since he was in grade school. But sometimes, he can really surprise you with his taste in art. His favorite is "Starry Night" by Van Gogh. He likes Impressionist art.

Kat’s traveled a lot. She’s lived in Arizona and now Virginia. I know that she likes to show things to her kids at school too, so anything that’s interesting or just a bit off the wall that could be displayed on her desk would probably work. Maybe a cactus? I think Kat really likes Pandas, cats and dogs and her school mascot is the Roadrunner.

I like anything to do with American History and especially the Civil War and that time period and those types of places. I want to visit New York City some day. And I love books. Books about anything really. And I write Childrens’ stories and poems for the boys too. I meant to ask Grandma the last time we talked if it would be OK to put her into one of my books. As a side character, you know. A neighbor lady the kids all love to visit because she lets them look at her huge collection of salt & pepper shakers. I didn’t ask though. Do you think she’d mind? Do you mind? It’d be done with great respect, I promise. I have the perfect spot for her in the book I’m doing right now actually. If you wanted to set something aside for my boys and us as a family, they both like trains and fire trucks quite a bit (Evan swears he’s going to be a fireman when he grows up – he wants to help people – it makes my heart melt to hear the 3 year old say that). Oh, and I like cats (black, orange and tuxedo especially), cocker spaniels and beagles.

We all love going to the theater too. And the sisters love camping of one sort or another. And we can’t forget the St. Louis Cardinals. That’s a huge thing with our family. Oh, and so are board games. we all play Scrabble and Monopoly. Mom had to ban us from playing UNO in the house though – we tend to get loud and mean playing it.

And you know that Heather loves penguins. But she’s also into anthropology and American History. And of course, she loves music and singing. She’s also pretty talented at her accounting job and classes too. She’s going to graduate in about a year and be a full fledged accountant. Right now, Tesia is really into butterflies too.

Thank you so much for thinking of us. It’ll be nice to have something to remember Grandma by. The boys have their nutcrackers that she gave them on their dressers and I use them to act out parts of stories sometimes. And other times, I tell them that my Grandma Imo gave them to them and I tell them how great she was. Just recently, I brought out the telescope she gave me all those years ago and set it up. Of course, they thought it was for looking for pirates, but we’ll get there on the real use eventually!

How is Grandpa doing? I haven’t seen a post from you about Chris lately either – is he doing well?

I just didn’t know what more to write. The Chris mentioned is Aunt Sue’s son.  The Grandpa mentioned in the message is my Grandpa Don. He married my grandmother when I was about 7 I think. My original Grandpa died when I was about 6 months old. I put in there that I like beagles for my mom. My mom and Aunt Sue have NEVER EVER gotten along. Even when she was married to Heather’s dad. My grandmother loved my mother. She’d want her to have a set of S&P’s too. But, Sue is the type of person who wouldn’t give my mother one. So, I put in there about beagles. I’m hoping I get more than one set so that I can give one to my mom.

I don’t like Aunt Sue. I used too. But I don’t. Not anymore. Not after the way she’s treated me and my family. I’m not really family to her. When I was born and my mom asked my original Grandpa if we could use his family name (because my father wasn’t in the picture anymore) Grandpa was soPROUD and HAPPY to have more grandchildren with his name. Sue, was PISSED. She didn’t want us to have the name. Of course, I didn’t know this until I was much older. And then, when I was 16, we were at a family dinner. She introduced us to her husband’s family as "This is my niece Heather and her brother and sisters."  No name. No respect. I was beyond embarrassed. And this woman calls herself a Christian as well. She’s a "born again" Christian, but she’s not loving. She’s a hypocrite and not accepting or willing to love unconditionally. That’s not Christian.

But whatever. I want to keep the line of communication open. Even if it’s not for me. It’s for Tesia and Heather. She’s Tesia’s family and will need to know where she came from. Not knowing part of your family completely sucks (believe me, I know from experience).

Still, this email about getting information on the family so Sue knows what to give to everybody, I think it should have gone to Heather. She’s the oldest grandchild. She’s the one who is actually a blood relative. She’s the one Sue considers REAL family.

And, for once, I feel really sorry for Heather. It doesn’t happen often because she drives me crazy. But, this has to be a bit rough.