Emails with Kenny’s teacher

Below is an email conversation I’ve had with Kenny’s teacher regarding the bullying that Kenny is a victim of at school. Ignor the teacher’s spelling and grammar errors. I’ve actually just given up on that aspect. 

Mr. H,
 
I know we have a meeting next week, but I didn’t want to wait to discuss this matter with you.
 
I’m pretty sure Kenny is being bullied at school. He’s been coming home telling me that “B” and “S” are throwing hard balls at his head during lunch recess, that “S” is kicking him, and “B” did something with the crayons. I think he kept taking them away or something, Kenny wasn’t clear on it. When he’s upset or embarrassed he tends to mumble and turn away.
 
I’ve been asking Kenny if they were playing games together and finally the other night he said that “B” and “S” didn’t like him and didn’t want him to play with him. And that even when he’s leaving those two alone, they’ll find him and hurt him.
 
Kenny said that you punished “S” by having him miss out on a game of Heads Up 7Up (tangent – I LOVED that game when I was a kid). That’s fine, but have you said anything to his parents?
 
I will *NOT* tolerate my son being bullied. I have told Kenny to stay away from “B” and “S”. I would appreciate your help on this matter as well. Kenny is socially awkward. He may not always read the cues correctly. But when he tells me that “B” and “S” search for him at recess to hurt him, that’s a bit much. It’d be different (sort of) if Kenny was pestering these boys.
 
This has been going on for several weeks now. I know kids are mean. Believe me, I was the same as Kenny when I was younger. But in this day in age, the "boys will be boys" mantra and excuse is not acceptable. I know these kids are just first graders, but if they don’t learn now that their behavior is unacceptable, when will they learn it?
 
Thanks,
Keepsake
 

 
Keepsake,
I have only known of one incident involving Kenny and another student. With the student involved he was in the line and Kenny said the other student was kicking him. It was on the way inside from recess. The monitors lead the students back into the class so I didn’t see the other student involved kick Kenny. When I asked the boys Kenny said the other boy kicked him the other student involved did not say anything when I asked him. This lead me to believe that he did kick Kenny. He recieved a warning for breaking the peace and lost all of his free time in the afternoon. Normally if I don’t see it happen I am careful of taking sides but in this case he wouldn’t even answer so it seemed pretty clear that the other child did do it. Other then that one incident this was the only time Kenny let me know of a problem. Is “B” in another class? That student is not in our class. Are the kids taking his crayons in class? He does not sit near the other child. On the playground what exactly is happening? Once I get the facts straight I will let the monitors know to watch these children and Kenny closer. Also I will let Mrs. S (school councilor) know so the other kids involved and Kenny can talk about what happened. In the future if he is hurt or in danger he should find an adult and let them know what is happening right away. I will let the montiors know I want to know about any rough play going on or any other students picking on kids in our class. If you could please let me know the details including how long it has happened where it happens and if it improves once I get other adults involved.
 
Thank you,
 Mr. H
 
 

 
 Mr. H,
 
 I’ve spoken more with Kenny. He said it was “B” that did something with the crayons. Apparently, “B” doesn’t want Kenny near him ever. Kenny says he’s been staying away from "B" because "B" told him he doesn’t like Kenny. I’m not sure of the full story there. But you don’t have to like everybody, so I’ve told Kenny to just leave “B” alone and to find somebody else to play with.
 
 As for the other bullying, it’s happening during lunch recess mostly. He said that a boy named “S” has thrown "hard balls" at his head. He has come home on a couple occasions with a lump on his head. Both times he told me he told a monitor and got an ice pack. I’m not sure if he told the monitor that “S” threw the ball at his head, but he told me that it was him. I asked Kenny if it only happened once, and he said no. I asked him if happened lots and he said no. I asked him how much it happens, and he said almost every day. I asked if he bothers or tries to play with “S” at lunch recess and Kenny said no. I asked him if “S” tries to find him when he’s playing something else and then throws the ball at him or hurts him, Kenny said yes. He said that “S” will kick him or throw a ball at him when he finds him.
 
 I’m worried over this. Kenny has a love of school. But lately he’s been coming home sad. He says he’s "unlucky" because "B" and “S” don’t like him and are mean to him. Kenny told me about the crayon incident about 3 weeks ago and just a couple of days after that was when he came home with the first lump on his head from a ball. That one was on his forehead near the temple. He’s had another lump on the side of his head from a ball too.
 
 I know that not every kid is going to get along, but it seems strange that Kenny has focused on these two boys as the reason for being sad. Do you know if he has any other friends in class that he plays with all the time? I worry about his social development. If I need to intervene and get him involved in something like Boy Scouts, I will. He needs positive interactions with kids his own age.
 
 Thanks for your help and understanding.
 
 Keepsake

 
 
Keepsake,
I am sorry to hear all of the details and will quickly get Mrs. S involved. I will let the monitors know to let me know about any complaint Kenny has with being picked on. This is unacceptable and I will everything I can to help this stop for Kenny. I was thinking about assigning him a couple of buddies from our class to help watch out for Kenny at recess. These buddies will be trust worthy boys or girls that I know I can count on. I will talk to the other boys involved and have Mrs. S talk to them as well.
 
Please keep me informed of any time this happens from now on. I had no idea about the lump and of any other problem except the one incident. I am truely sorry this is happening to him. I know there are at least two students in our room he seems to be good friends with. He is getting positive interactions but the negative ones need to stop. Thank you for letting me know about the problem. Please always keep me informed. Please encourage Kenny to let a adult know any time he is hurt, in danger, or being made fun of.
 
Thank you,
Mr. H

So, hopefully now something will happen. Something good. I hope that it does.