Impossible

It was an impossible pairing she was thirty five I was many years beyond. How unfair even if she did happen to actually accept what I could offer. Years of loss way to soon for someone her young age and yet here we were on the way to no return.

she was beautiful. Long flowing red hair that spoke of her ancestry. The young body of someone who exercised faithfully. Charms I had no right to even dream of , let alone fall deeply into and know.

I a Widower of four years, she the same but two years since. Both unsure of replacing that magic we both had before but somehow sensing the same was before us once again.

I met her years back at a Glacier travel and safety class on Mount Baker, a ten thousand foot Volcano in Washington State up by the Canadian Border. A weekend event requiring tenting on the snow beside a Glacier. Her tent was next to mine and she happened to be on the same rope as I. Right in front of me, a treat to my eyes. The instructors made she and I partners since we were the only ones without spouses present. Both my wife and her husband  had taken similar courses before meeting us, so they were at home.

Younger but not more beautiful back then, I still stared more than I should. The six other women were athletic and each with their own charm but she outshined all. We tied in and climbed in and out of crevasses for two days. Soon it was as if the others only spoke in whispers. It was she and I learning this magical ice thing and getting to really like each other’s company, in an innocent way. We had others we loved but this was a special new relationship. We learned together, we ate together, shared each others food. Sat outside our tents and spoke of thing that mattered to us, long after all others were safe inside their tents. A billion stars and our still innocent but profound connection was worth more than rest.

At the end of the class, after packing our cars, saying goodbye to everyone. Promising to keep in touch even though we all knew we wouldn’t. She and I hugged, perhaps a little longer than we had a right to. She kissed my cheek but accidently also touch my lips just a bit. I couldn’t help it, it took my breath away and scared me somehow. We let go and she was gone. So was a magical event carved into the ice of that steaming Volcano.

We lived in the same town but rarely bumped into each other although I saw her once with her husband, my wife and I spoke to them for a few minutes but each were late for something or other and so that was it.

Years passed, spouses died, lonely times also passed. Each holding onto the ghost of the one we hoped to die with. With time however we began to live lives again. Began doing things we used to do with our spouses. Just not with the excitement we had when we shared them with those we loved.

It was late spring. I was riding my bike on the trail that runs the length of our river valley, the wild rose lined miles of the ride. The smell enchanting. And here she comes on her bike. tight t-shirt and cute shorts. Ever bit as beautiful and fresh as she was on that mountain. Her eyes lit up as she saw me. We hugged and sat on one of the trails benches and spoke of the passing of our loves. we spoke of what we wanted from our life now. Travel , adventure, excitement. Something to make up for our loss. We went for a coffee and spoke for hours much to the ire, I suppose, of the owner.

I asked her to have dinner with me that night at our little town’s best place of course. I’m sure I was already smitten, as they say for I could not wait to see what night time with her might bring. We hugged. Not kiss this time, we were both scared somehow. Still the hug said many things

The dinner was wonderful of course but what followed was true wonder . A night of gentle , cautious pleasure we’d both been missing for a very long time. Both knew that right or wrong, mismatched ages be dammed. A fire started innocently years ago on a snowy mountain, now became a raging inferno neither could or would extinguish. We knew we were in love, knew the years we would be together were few. We vowed as we lay spent in each others arms that no day or night would be wasted. We would live each day as if it were our last day on earth. This day was one of those days.