So very tired

I can honestly say that I am tired

Tired not just physically (I think that has to do with the mysterious arrival of Aunt Flo out of nowhere, no warning as usual) and the fact that I am the only one in the house that tends to the various ills of the pets, putting meds in the eye, cleaning up projectile vomit, buying food and litter…and staying up to chat with the old one eyed bathroom cat…its exhausting
 
I can definitely say that I am also tired mentally
 
Can’t tell you how hard it is to come to work, be friendly and approachable all the while trying to make myself look busy and actively a part of this failing company
 
And as I sit here, I hear things and I realize things and its really frustrating
 
For example, since I am now non-exempt (and again, the universe MUST be thanked), I need to turn in a timesheet twice a month, pay periods and all that
 
One would think that it wouldn’t be that difficult to print out timesheets the same time you are entering payroll right?
 
Ah well, in a perfect, not this company world
 
The mystery VP of HR said that normally HR doesn’t do stuff like payroll and timesheets (ah well, in some companies they do sure, try telling her that as she knows everything apparently) and ASD has SO much to do (like hang out in the kitchen?), she can’t be bothered with the normal HR function of both returning phone calls as well as printing timesheets on time
 
Pay period ended on 9/30, I got my timesheet on 10/6
 
And yet, Accounting complains that people don’t fill out their timesheets correctly. I made the suggestion that if hourly and non-exempt got their timesheets on time, that might not be an issue…duh
 
And while we’re on the subject of the mystery VP of HR…how can someone possibly leave their cushy job at a major law firm on the peninsula (read wealthy) and come to a dying company? What is the deal with that?
 
So the story with her is that we’re trying to save money on outside council and she wanted to do more HR work instead of legal…uh…ok?
 
And she’s doing all the investor relations stuff instead of me…and wouldn’t you know it that she hasn’t done a very good job of it. I just shrug and say, can’t say I did/saw/worked/etc. on that
 
I get a call the last week of September from an investor about the board meeting. Oh, didn’t Nancy whom my boss tasked with making all the arrangements for changing and rescheduling the meeting contact you?
 
So you can see why I am so tired
 
There are so many things here at work that could cause me no end to the entries, however, I am taking into consideration something that I learned in my Buddhism classes…the 8 Fold Path
 
Not to get into it as that would take probably a lifetime, the 8 Fold Path in addition to the 4 Noble Truths are what the Buddha discovered while he was sitting under a tree contemplating his navel and being accosted by all sorts of temptations
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Here is what I am trying to focus on here at work:
 
Right Speech:
Right speech is the first principle of ethical conduct in the eightfold path. Ethical conduct is viewed as a guideline to moral discipline, which supports the other principles of the path. This aspect is not self-sufficient, however, essential, because mental purification can only be achieved through the cultivation of ethical conduct. The importance of speech in the context of Buddhist ethics is obvious: words can break or save lives, make enemies or friends, start war or create peace. Buddha explained right speech as follows: 1. to abstain from false speech, especially not to tell deliberate lies and not to speak deceitfully, 2. to abstain from slanderous speech and not to use words maliciously against others, 3. to abstain from harsh words that offend or hurt others, and 4. to abstain from idle chatter that lacks purpose or depth. Positively phrased, this means to tell the truth, to speak friendly, warm, and gently and to talk only when necessary.
 
May I bring your attention to the bolded part?
 
Yup, standing around like ASD all day is considered not right speech…so as much as I would love to join in her reindeer games, its not a good use of my time
 
Not in a rude way, however, I think she’s a bit shocked when I don’t engage her
 
I am not here to make friends people and although she used to be quite a close one, I now no longer trust her and where is the foundation of a relationship, such as friendship if you don’t have trust?
 
I focus also on the 8 Verses of Thought Transformation, however that one is still a work in progress
 
Also can I just tell you that I am tired of going on interviews and having them check references and still no job offer?
 
Not that I am attached to outcomes or anything