Really with the time?

I can’t tell you how many times I have sat here at my desk and thought, I really need to write that down, or I really need to process this, probably should get it down on ‘paper’

And yet, here it is, March and I haven’t written in (stops to count on her hand) 4 months!

Um…so went to Scottsdale over Christmas break to visit my former sis-in-law and my niece, driving there with my parents, in a minivan (yup, we survived)

Had a bit of a moment with my mother, where she mentioned that the reason she was the way she was while we were growing up was because of her parents and that she didn’t know any different

Man, really?  Couldn’t you have had this conversation with me say 20 years ago?  So that I didn’t have to go through all that I have gone through over the years?

Got the kid a new job, introduced her to her new boss, she’s now going to be the head baker at a new posh restaurant downtown San Francisco

Oh and she’s now communicating with her biological dad

*big sigh*

I think I sort of had a mini breakdown last fall…stopped with the classes, changed my mind about a bazillion times, realized stuff about the people I had/have in my life, wanted a little more from my Dharma center…sort of felt a little untethered about it all

I guess I still sort of need to figure some stuff out about my life, make some better decisions about money and relationships, etc. however I do know that I am cool with things the way they seem to be running along, how I am working through things

Work…well, let’s see…I don’t work for the lunatic in Bariatric anymore, I just work for 3 surgeons, one of them is the last of the originals.  And finally after a year, I have a space in the Cancer Center.  Although I am not sure I will need the place anymore because of all the politics in this place and people losing their jobs, etc.  Whatever, status quo I suppose

I am struggling with the lack of work however at this point and even though I have some work to do, its boring LOL

I am going to try to write more here, I have some forgiveness work that I want to try out, not sure if I want to do it here or in a notebook