No particular name for it

Most people that go on diets, or start up at the gym tell everyone and anyone that they are doing so

And that’s fine, they just don’t realize that they aren’t doing the act of losing weight or getting in shape for the crowd of folk they might hang out with…they need to be in their head about doing it for themselves…period
 
I have struggled with going to the gym…I went religiously, some may say fanatically, last summer when I was getting a hormone shot for my condition. I lost 20 pounds in no time and then one thing lead to another and I stopped going twice a day…then it was down to once or twice a week, to getting sick and barely leaving my house for almost 2 months
 
After having surgery in April, I recovered and toyed with the idea of getting back into shape and exercising and such
 
You know, no excuses…I got caught up in the baseball games, with life in general, with my increasing unease about work…many things that I could have used going to the gym to get out of my system
 
And quite frankly, I always say, the first of the month, I am going to start, making it a habit, look forward to it again, etc.
 
Many months later and here it is the first of the month again
 
Love that I am working all day on the actual first of the month, however, the 2nd rolled around with that extra hour and well, I think I might be on to something
 
Plus, with Mar getting up at 5am, I might as well get up too and utilize that time to get out of the house
 
And yes, I am being vague, I don’t want to come right out and say the obvious because I am SO not doing this for anyone else but myself. I had a real harsh realization when I got to the Y on Sunday and weighed myself. Made me think that I really have a LOT more work to do, and sure, I want to meet someone, however, I am really in no place right now to do that. I don’t have much confidence in my body and my image, and I am sure that will come across as real attractive huh? 
 
I feel so much better about myself and my whole image when I am active, sweating, sore and just plain worked, and I want to get that feeling back.
 
I know I have confidence in other areas, like finding a new job, that will never falter. I can fake the rest, and I think I do it quite well thankyouverymuch
 
So, I know what I am doing, I don’t need to share that with anyone. Think of me driving to the Y and making sure the various ellipticals, stairmasters and weight machines are in fine working order
 
I need (need is a strong word in this instance, because no one told me that I had to lose that much, however, that’s the number that I am putting out there, I may be more comfortable with only losing 100 who knows. That’s what I am aiming for, it won’t happen over night, so sure, lots of wiggle room) to lose 115 pounds, give or take, and it doesn’t take a village for that to happen. I don’t need people cheering me on, offering support, giving me suggestions. That’s because I am not doing it for anyone else but myself
 
I will let you know how the machines are functioning should I have anything to report
 
 
 
 
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