small fight

Fought with John just a little while ago. It was super brief, as I pretty much told him to shut up and then he put on workout clothes and left.

Man, I have issues. The minute he starts talking negatively about me I find something (anything) to throw back at him and make him shut up. I’ll insult him, or turn the issue back around on him and wait for him to explode or say we just shouldn’t talk. If he explodes, I walk away from it, and tell him we’ll just yell at each other if we try to talk, that we can’t do it right now. If he walks away, I just shrug and go clean something.

I am a serious conflict avoider.

Trouble is, when we were first starting to rebuild, I told him that I had gained awareness of the process above and explained what it is that I do. So now he sees it. He actually sees it before I even realize I’m doing it. Obnoxious. Now he gets to call me out on that shit. Yet another thing that his hawk eyes won’t miss. Wow. I’m a little hostile right now. 

…and the garage just opened. I’m gonna jet so he doesn’t catch a glimpse of this. Later.