end of summer

i’ve got my summer school final on monday and then i get a whole week (!!) to myself.  not that school has been really getting in the way of "me" time.  I love this.  I feel so wonderfully productive.  I’ve skipped the gym completely this week to go running instead.  Just 2 miles a day but I swear it gets easier every time.  I even took belle with me yesterday.  i’ve been picking up piano where i left it off back in 5th grade, and its challanging and fun and interesting to relearn as an adult (did i really just call myself an adult??)  work last weekend was profitable to say the least…and i’m hoping to repeat that.  i’m talking to seth less and less…and although when i talk to him i feel sorry for him, I don’t feel that need to see him or be near him anymore.  its gone…and it makes me feel absolutely free.  i am even, on some level, noticing other guys.  let me word that better.  i definately ALWAYS notice hot guys…but it’s been a while since i’ve found excuses to flirt with them or talk to them.  i dunno.   i’m definately not interested in dating yet.  not out of responsiblity to seth or anything gay like that but out of selfishness.  i love the alone time i’ve got right now.  i almost never get lonely.  anyway when josh is back for a week or whatever, i’d like to be allowed to actually see him.  he was my best friend for two years and if he was a girl hanging out when he was in town totally wouldn’t be an issue.  unless i was a lesbian.  i’m confusing myself.  not like that!!   ugh…rewrite

i don’t want to be dating some controlling or jealous or paranoid guy who doesn’t want me to see josh because i happened to be engaged to him at one time.  there i spat it out.

anyway.  this is kind of a hodgepodge of random strands of thought. 

god i hope seth has stopped reading this already.

later