Camouflage

Sometimes I feel my former consciousnesses bleeding through. Sometimes I feel like a visitor. Curiosity is the biggest, or most notable hallmark of my visitations. Curious to understand who this girl is. And curious to understand who else she might have been.

it is interesting that I chose such a nondescript future. I question whether I chose it or it chose me. If we don’t decide who to be… are we letting others make those choices for us. If so, what does that really mean? Is the whole country suffering from the same malady that I am? Is that why democracy is evaporating in front of us?

How much does socialization change about our essential selves? Why am I so much more acceptable than Allison? I know she is truly, who I might have been if I had not folded to the will of others.

Can my camouflage, hard won, help me to make real changes to the world around me? Or does it make me one of them?