I’m scared, but I can do this

Chase and I went camping up on the spring river this week.

We were only able to go for two days and one night, but it was a blast! 

The place we go camping at is about 10 miles past this town that is made up mainly of one main street with shops, restaurants, a few b&b’s, a grocery store. It’s really quaint and cute, and the river runs right through the heart of it. There are lots of cabins and camping places. To get to our campsite, you go through the town, and out into the country for about 10-15 miles, then you turn onto a dirt road for another few miles, and you arrive at this outpost where you pay to reserve a spot. They also sell a limited supply of food/clothes/tackle. They also do float and canoe trips. It’s a beautiful place, and we love it there.

Last weekend was their first weekend to be open for the year, as the weather is still a bit cool. We got there on Wednesday afternoon, and had the ENTIRE place to ourselves. The whole river was ours! We only saw one canoe the whole time we were there. The weather was perfect. It was about 75 degrees and not a cloud in the sky. The water was probably about 50 degrees, maybe a little less. It was a bit chilly, I’ll admit. We are used to being there in the middle of the summer when the water is a relief from the heat. We only waded out to where it came up to our knees.

When we first got there, we set up the tent. It was fun unloading the sleeping bags, lanter, cooler, extra blankets, and making it all cozy. While I was doing that, Chase got the fishing poles ready. We fished from the bank for awhile, but eventually found ourselves wading out there to our knees in water. The trout were biting really well, and we could have caught well over our limit. We didn’t want to keep more than we would eat. We will be back there soon enough, anyway. There’s just something about catching your dinner, and eating it not two hours later. 

Of course, I’m probably giving you the wrong impression. Without Chase, I would be able to catch the fish. I have no doubt about that. But, honestly, that’s about it.  I still can’t bring myself to actually touch the thing or get it off the hook. Gross! Except last year, I did touch one with my index finger while Chase held it. I’ve got shivers just thinking about it. Babysteps, though, right?  Of course, none of this makes sense because on paper, fish are much less scary than snakes….and I’ve held snakes before. Tons of them. Of course, they were snakes from my high school science teachers class, from a cage, under supervision. In the wild, they are still scary. But fish…no matter where they are….just give me the creeps.

But still, it’s fun to catch them. I don’t get queezy watching Chase kill them and clean them, season them up, and put them on the grill. I can eat what I’ve caught, and not be wasteful. But bleck, don’t ask me to touch one while it’s all floppy and has a face.

We didn’t actually eat them right off the bank, this time. We kept them alive in a basket until time to go home. Now they are in the freezer until the next time we grill out. We won’t catch anymore until those are eaten.

You have to be careful with trout. They have tiny tiny bones that can be hard to eat around. They also have a protective slime on them that keeps them healthy. If they lose it, they die. That’s why it’s important not to handle them very much if you are going to let them go. Chase is always very gentle with them, even if he’s going to kill them.

All this fish talk is creeping me out. Don’t know why.

Anyway, we got in a few hours of fishing before the sun set. We had wandered downstream from camp, but were able to follow the river to our tent when it got dark. We hadn’t gone very far. When we got to camp, we rigged up the lantern to hang from the top of the tent, ate some sandwiches, and bundled up. It got chilly!  We ended up doing the same thing we do at home lots of nights. That’s right, we played cards. ha. I bet that’s not what you were thinking. It was too chilly for -that-. 😛 

After Chase somehow beat me at gin rummy, we bundled up in our sleeping bags and let the sounds of the water and the trees lull us to sleep. The next day was spent doing some more fishing, enjoying the fresh air… and then we packed up around lunch time as the clouds rolled in. It sprinkled rain on us for just about 5 minutes just before we got the tent taken down.

All in all it was a good trip, peaceful, romantic, fun.

Oh, and while we were there, I noticed that all of our stuff is blue. Our cooler, lantern, tent, sleeping bags, blankets, lawnchairs, air mattress, pillows, towels…everything. ( we werent exactly roughing it, were we? :P)

I’m not sure why I’ve been in such a narrative mood tonight.

I just love this time in our life, and want to remember it and cherish it always.

I’m also getting pretty nervous about the academy.

It’s my plan. It’s the way we are going to be able to afford a house.

I don’t have a backup plan, or another job lined up.

I’m going into this with my whole heart.

My life thusfar has been sort of like a river, following the path of least resistence, following my heart with no regard to reason, with tributaries and side streams and no predictability.

The path that I am on today is more like a road, concrete, straight, one way, definite.

I’ve made a choice to try something that may not necessarily come naturally to me, and it is a bit unnerving.

To be honest, I’ve never really had to struggle with anything. The things I’ve accomplished so far have come naturally to me,

I feel it’s important to broaden your horizons and try things that scare you.

Take the kind of risks that can bring good things into your life, opportunities for your family.

I’m so ready to get this show on the road….

And I find myself hoping it’s true that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

I’m not conflicted about my choice, but about my confidence.

I’m scared, but I can do this.

That should have been my whole entry, right there… "I’m scared, but I can do this"

with love,

kim