“I Hate My Mother”

No. I never did. 

I always loved her.

I missed her. I wanted her. I wanted her cuddles, her kisses, the mother, I always  loved.

I grew up, wanting her all the time. Of course, then, I didn’t realize it.  I was brainwashed. I was consistently reminded by my father that she was a horrible woman.

Yet, I wanted my mommy.

I always did, more than anything.

Her company, her attention, her cuddles.

Instead, I saw her back. Instead, I always had to watch as she left.

Mommy, wasn’t available like I needed her to be.

I grew up telling myself, I hated her.

I woke up from my grief.

I woke up from my anger.

Today  I realized…

I always wanted mommy.

I always loved mommy.

I want mom.

The man who treats me like my father… Who loves me so..I just realized,  always wanted…

Dad.

~Clarity. 🌻