A simple “yes” will suffice

What is it, Vickie?

 

What is it that you really want?

 

Because you sent me a one paragraph text asking me how I am and if my “spirit” is intact. You told me you ” worry a lot” and “a simple yes will suffice”. I didn’t have to respond but I did, because I have empathy and good will towards other people, you included. 

 

Now, the catch is this…

 

When someone gives you the courtesy of a reply, you don’t just disappear. You respond in kind. You acknowledge the fact that they answered your question. That’s how social societies work. 

 

What are you sooooo busy doing that you could manage to take the time out of your day to inquire about my well being but neglect my question in return, which was to politely ask about your emotional health and to wish you well.

 

A simple “thank you, I’m hanging in there” would have sufficed.

 

But you don’t really want to talk to me. That much is obvious. You are not sincere and that is becoming obvious, too.

 

Now I am left to wonder just what in the fuck it is that you’re after. What is your true motive for reaching out to me? Your lover does not want me. He does not speak to me and he chose you. He all but fucking erased me from his existence and I don’t know what more you want, I really don’t. If you wanted friendship, you would behave and react differently. If you wanted forgiveness for hurting me, you’d only need to hear me accept your apology once and your guilt would be appeased.

 

I am a smart woman but I cannot figure out what it is you stand to gain from busting through my door of silence like the fucking Kool aid pitcher with legs on a 100 degree day.

 

Your actions defy the words that come from your lips. You would like to hurt me to make up for the fact that things didn’t turn out the way you planned em.

 

When you told me you dropped cement blocks into the bed of his pickup while he and his WIFE yelled at you from below, I wondered wtf was wrong with you and who stole every last shred of your self respect…because the fact that his wife was involved in torturing you emotionally while he joined from the sidelines should have told you everything you needed to know about where you stood in his life, regardless of what he tried to make you believe. 

 

Anyways, if you remember correctly, you refused to let me ignore you. You blew my phone up until I was forced to address your presence in my life. Now, YOU can’t be bothered to follow up on the conversation YOU initiated. 

 

If I have learned one thing in all of this, it’s this…

 

A man that loves you cannot stand to see you HURT. He is careful with his decisions and actions so he never has to be responsible for causing you pain.

 

Roger made a decision to stop and pick you up alongside the road that day. He didn’t care about me when he was doing that.

 

He let you in his car and decided to ease your pain. 

 

Meanwhile, mine was only beginning.