waste of time???

yesterday while at work i called p on my lunch break to chat. i told him i was starving but didnt feel like wasting money on lunch at the mall. then like around 10pm p shows up at my work. we closed at 11 and he decided to come over and buy me dinner since he knew i was hungry. it was a nice surprise. so after i got off around 11:15 and he took me to dennys. we had a good dinner together. talked a bit and just wasnt too bad. we talked about how its been nearly 5 years of knowing eachother and he sid that if he didnt know me i probably would be in nc still with some hick guy. he said he would probably be married or something because he owuld have all this extra time to spend with someone else instead of wasting so much with me. now i dont think he meant itbad but it hit a nerve. am i that big a waste of time in his life? i tried to ask him tonight and i got ignored like usual so i emailed him and i want a real answer. i deserve one. i wanna know what that meant. i dont htink hes a waste of my time. i know i m probably jsut being an emotional girl but thats not nice to think your a waste of someones time. hello i mean wonderful girl right in front of you, maybe instead of thinking shes a waste of your time maybe you should think shes just what you need. maybe your just wasting your time thinking shes not perfect for you. maybe the time waster is still thinking your ex is the most perfect girl in the world when someone who loves you is staring into your eyes when you call her a waste of your time. i am moody dont mind me tongiht sorry.i will paste the email i just sent to him, see if he actually repolies to me. ugh goodnight.

 im not in any way mad but you just make me feel so darn unimportant sometimes. i mean if i wanna ask u something every single time u blow off what i am trying to say to you. come on please i mean a friend doesnt do that to you. When you said last night that u waste so much time with me it stuck a chord with me. i want to know if you meant that then that kinda stinks. im not trying to make a hill out of an ant hole but it just stuck with me and i felt bad for being a waste of your time. i dont want to be that person in your life.  i know that there are lots of things either of us could be doing if we saw a lot less of eachother but you ever think maybe i like spending time with you? i love spending time with you and on many occassions i make more time just to spend with you. i do this not because i like to waste time but because there is no one i would rather spend time with. i just thought about what you said quite a bit today and wanted to see your point of saying that to me. if you feel that way then it wasnt really fair to either of us to just be content with that. i mean if u honestly felt like your wasting your time and missing out on other things then you need to explore those other things. i wanted an honest answer out of you that is all. my honest answer on the subject is as follows. There are times when i look at us as wasting time, but then seconds after thinking that i realize nothing about us is a waste of time. nothing about us has ever been a waste of time to me. Sometimes i even wonder what i did before having you in my life. i must have been pretty lonely is what i think. Sure i could be seeing someone else often or going out more but thats not for me right now. i am content with us and what we do together. i thought it was a pretty good thing for both of us. i thought you wanted that time together just as much as i do.  And thats my honest answer. when i asked you tonioght i dunno if you were ignoring me, couldnt hear me or was just bored with me but you didnt even think to talk about it. this is the way it is with anything i wanna talk to you about. lately if theres something on my mind that needs to be discussed you toss it out, you ignore it and you expect me to just move on from it. im sorry i dont work that way. you know me better then that. so i am writing you this email becuase i want an answer, not just an uh huh, or to be ignored. i want the truth even if that hurts. So email me back, bring it up on the phone or leave me a voice mail your choice. i just need to hear what you think on that. maybe you think thats petty or stupid or annoying but for me its important. i need to feel that im not your waste of time and if i was i need to not be. so just reply ok? thanks and good morning. ………Sher