searching for someone who doesnt make me apoligize

this weekend was so busy but good. friday i had the day off and i spent the entire day running errands. at night i hung out with sarah and ordered pizza and rented a chick flick (uptown girl) P wanted to hang out but i was dog sitting at home while sarah and i hung out. saturday p and i did hang out though. after i got off work we had pizza and just relaxed. he fell asleep by like 11pm but i will give him a tiny amount of slack on this one cuz he was stressed cuz it was his on call week for work. i got a little depressed in the morning. i was feeling like a little morning fun with him and of course he wasnt like the stick in the mud he can be. i was being agressinve with what i was going for and he pushed me away. like not mean just like annyed. and i said sorry. and i laid there thinking “wait a minute damit!! why the hell am i apoligizing for being physically attracted to someone and wanting them sexually???” what crazy world is it when i am apoligizing for wanting him!?!?!?!   It pissed me off a little and i mimbled under my breath, ” just need to find a guy who doesnt make me wanna apoligize for wanting him!!” i need a guy who makes me feel wanted in every aspect. p doesnt do that. there was a time when he did but lately he doesnt. he used to make me feel pretty special. the way he touched me was amazing. soft and sweet and attentive but it hasnt been that way in a long time. and i want that regardless of who it is. sunday at work i had a couple of visitors. at first it wasnt a nice surprise but it was ok. Sean showed up with the guy i am “talking” to. I guess for now we can call him C in here. So c and sean showed up. ANd i was annoyed at sean for bringing c to my work because i felt like i looked horrible. i had not even an ounce of makeup on. i dont wear make up every day but when we hung out i had make up on. i like looking half way decent for a guy who shows interest ya know? 🙂 But  C saw me fixing my hair and he said i looked beautiful. nothing like a comliment to make u forget how terrible your morning was huh? 🙂 him and sean took me to lunch and c paid for me and sean. I thought it was nice. lunch wasnt too expensive but it was nice. afterwards we just talked and walked around and once again i got a hug. 🙂 I like hugs 🙂 i talked to him again last night befire i went to sleep and before i talked to p and we may hang out this week. He seems to be cool and well still interested in me. thats a good thing. p and i got into a talk about dating people and he says he would tell me when he did but i pointed out to him that i found out about margareet because she im’ed me not because he told me. and i only found out about mary after like months. He says that we should tell eachother even if it is jsut a first date. so whatever fine i told him this “i have know you for like 4 years, do you really think in the last four years that i have not gone on ONE date??” i said sorry i am not a nun just cuz i am your friend. i said i have seen like 3 or 4 people. thats all the details he got. im sorry but why should i be the one to be telling aobut dates whne he doesnt. i know hes seen someone else at the very least once or twice and probably talks to a few other girls i dont know of so whatever. if it were to get serious with this new guy i would tell him. anyways thats it  i guess for now. watching couples fear factor then average joe. off work tomororw so thats cool. gonna go read some favorites. byebye