hot and bothered

i find myself sitting here so often lately and just staring at this blank sceen. i am void for words lately and i dont fully know why. life isnt particularly bad, it aint great either it just is life. its moving along just fine. I will admit my mind is running a million miles a second lately but thats nothing new. mostly about school but some about p. i am doing good in my sociology class. i was totally stoked i got a b on the test on monday. i thoguht for sure i had bombed so i was happy with my b. p made me feel a little bad by sayin git should have been an A but chris made me feel better by saying awesome good job, lets go get some dessert to celebrate. hung with p last night. we went and platyed tennis after dinner. i am starting to enjoy myself more while playing sinc ei get double practice with going with chris and P. after we watched something gotta give on dvd. ok movie. i just didnt like the ending. i think that old man should have gotten what he deseved a lonely life. after the movie we lied together for a few and relaxed. i wish i could put into words how he makes me feel when i lay next to him. it is undescribable how totally aroused the guy can make me. its agonizing sometimes. like last night. i just kept touching him and pushing on him and just aching for him but nothing happened. i used to get mad when nothing would happen but i am trying to not be like that. i mean its not his fault right? its my problem to deal with. my hormones and my problem. just wish he didnt make me feel so hot around him. lol its retarded but just sitting here thinking about lying next to him makes me want to be there. he is with mary tongiht though btw. anyways enough about that. had a good ngiht. after class i let chris take me out for a bit. we hung out and talked and stuff. good time ended early so i can come home to read for class and get a good nights sleep. things are moving nicely with him and i. i dont wanna divulge in to how good things are just now they are good. its nice having someone want you the way u need to be wanted. its funny and odd but totally awesome to be on the recieving end of so much attention and adoration i love it. he makes me feel good aobut myself which is something sorta lacking in my life right now. he makes me feel good enough where as p makes me feel like a second choice, like i will never stack up. i dont think h e means to just the way it comes across. this weekend is going to be fun. friday night p and i are haning out probably making dinner adn watching a dvd. and then saturday i am off work so him and i will come pick up my friend sarah and then the three of us are going to the dodger game to watch them kick the giants’ butts. should be so much fun! Thats it a guess going to go to bed early. shocking huh? not even gonna wait for p to call after he is done with mary. its not that big a deal. if he calls fine if not oh well. htats it goodnight