What a morning

So I need to start with a bit of back history.

I have never gotten on well with my Grandmother or in fact ever really liked her, she would always accuse all of us of lying even when we were telling the truth and has just generally not been a very nice human being, cutting us off when she felt like it and using it to gain attention from other people just to name a few, growing up I was told to tell her very little even little things like my parents buying a mobile home as it would just cause a big argument.

Now my Dad has always had very little to do with my Grandmother but when my mum died {her daughter} he kept in contact with her. My partner and I don’t live in the same country as her but she guilted us into being her emergency contacts at her sheltered housing facticity although  I am not sure what we could actually do over 700 miles away.

My Dads diagnoses has been hard on all of us and at the start when he was told surgery wasn’t an option but without any kind of treatment he had two months to live, however since Chemo this has increased, my Dad held off telling my Grandmother as he knew she’d make a big deal of it and turn it around to be all about her and he didn’t want to tell her over Christmas and spoil it for her, yesterday he gave her the basics which is absolutely his protective to do, he told her he had cancer and it couldn’t be cured although he was having treatment, she responded by saying she couldn’t help him and was too upset to talk to him and hung up the phone on him. Fast forward to this morning and I receive a missed call from my Grandmother, now she has never had mine or my partners number, we have hers and try and give her a quick call every week to check in but I don’t want her contacting me due to the issues I have had with her in the past, I was downstairs taking down the Christmas tree and my phone was upstairs, I heard it ringing but when I got upstairs it had stopped, I then tried to phone my partner [who had taken our daughter out for the morning]  when I saw it was a missed call from her as I knew she would be phoning to try and get more information about my dads illness, however my heart sank when it was engaged as I knew she had managed to get hold of his number too, she managed to get through to him and was asking him questions like who was going to look after the pets, my partner just said to her he couldn’t really talk to her as he was out with the little one but would chat with her later. I am so angry thar she has been able to get our numbers from the housing officer in the sheltered housing where she lives, I understand that our numbers are on file as her contacts in an emergency however I feel they shouldn’t have handed them out to her without asking our permission first, there is a very good reason she does’  have them…..I DON’T BLOODY WANT TO TALK TO HER! I don’t like the woman and just because she is related to me doesn’t mean I am obliged to. I have written a very strongly worded email to the housing authority as I also think a law may have been broken by giving these numbers out! I have no doubt in my mind that she went to the housing officer laying it on thick and making more of the situation than it actually is hence why the numbers were given but it doesn’t excuse it, I have now blocked her number as well as the main number for the housing she is in  and asked my partner to do the same, I have also complained via e-mail. I have wanted to cut her off for a long time because of the effect she has on my mental health but my partner has always refused to support me with this, phoning her every week and giving her information I don’t want her to have, he just sees her as a little sweet old lady and because he didn’t grow up with her and hasn’t seen what actually went on and what she put my parents and I through refuses to support me in this boundary in our relationship, I feel had he supported me and cut her off none of this would have happened today.