The D Chronicles, part I

What is about to written here today and other days to come are, the D (dumbass) chronicles. The initials are real and the name won’t be revealed due to the fact that he’s a useless waste of skin.

IDB are the initials and he will be referred to by those intials. Hmmmm…..isn’t it funny how his initials stand for ignorant dumb bastard??

And now the story……….

It started as a normal day one November in ’93. I had been out a bad relationship for about a month and a half and I was trying to be a player. You know not settling with anyone, playing the field a little; just having fun.

This particular day, I got a new hair cut and new attitude (meaning I thought I was the hottest thing alive). So I had to go on “honey patrol” which usually means that it’s in the evening and I was walking up the strip to get some chinese food. I love chinese. Anyway, I was with my cousin and I spotted this guy in a ragged gray car with rust spots, and he saw me as well. But what I didn’t know was that he pulled over, parked, got out of his car and made a b-line toward me. So when IDB approached me, I was thinking, cool this is a new someone I can kick it with sometime, nothing serious. Boy was I wrong!!

We chatted for a minute and exchanged numbers. Not less than an hour went by and he called me so we could do something that night. So it was a date, sort of. I didn’t know that he only stayed around the corner and across the local park from me. Small world. We ended up at his house (where he lived with his mother and niece) and tried to think of things to do. It started raining and I suggested that we stay there and just talk. The real reason I suggested that was because I thought I lost my house key, and waking someone up in my house at 3 am wouldn’t go over to well, so I just stayed and talked. Which is exactly what we did. Talked until the next morning, then went to sleep. I got home around 12 that afternoon. We met up again at 6 that evening and we took a stroll down to the riverfront.

Oh my Gawd!! It was such a romantic time! He carried a little boom box and was playing a tape and we walked and talked. At times, we just stood still and held each other. It was so sweet. Then he wanted to kiss, me and I was scared. I was scared because he has the worst set of teeth this side of the Mississippi. Now don’t get me wrong, the brother had it going on. He’s 6’4, thin, a little(very little) build, and was just down right cute. But I had never been with someone who had some jacked up teeth. So, we were standing under the arch, and we had one of those moments where you don’t say anything but you have to do something….either say something or kiss. So when he leaned forward he said, “I’ve been waiting for this” and it threw me off. I would’ve felt better if it had just happend, but he deceided to fuck up the mood. So all he got was a nice peck on the lips.

Well after the riverfront, we went back to his place and I took a nap. He woke me up around 1 and we just talked some more. Then, he sat in front of me slowly and looked me in the eyes and asked if he could kiss me. I said (gulp) yes. So we leaned in and it happened. It was soft and gentle and I had never been kissed like that before. So after the kiss, he started singing some song like, “From the halls of Montezuma.” I guess The Star Spangled Banner wasn’t good enough. After that, he always wanted me around him. Even the next morning, when we laid in his bed and watched American Me (lift up yer nut sack).

That was the beginning of the worst six years of my life.