Amazing night :)

So lets see a few things happened since I last updated…

I’m seriously considering joining ROTC. 

I sent in a resume/application to Doctors Without Boarders (did  I mention one of my dream jobs is the travel the world studying like medice and stuff?). 

I spoke to Alex. We’re friends. We can talk again. Just not that often. He’s moved on. He likes some chick. And apparently he’s serious about like going out and picking up new girls and stuff. No. I wont lie. It does bother me. But I also wont lie…

I have an amazing guy by my side.

Daniel and I spent another night together. His roommates went on some trip and he couldn’t go because he has his EMT class all day today. Its nice. Spending the night with him I mean. He’s really warm and actually lets me sleep on him or like near him. We basically cuddle all night which is pretty awesome.

I had the weirdest dream. About Alex. Yea…he walked away from me…and I was like crying asking like "what did I do?" and "I can change" but I most remember yelling for him to come back. 

I don’t want him back though. I’m actually getting stuff done and living my life. Ever since he’s been out of it..I don’t know things have just been amazing. 

Daniel…he’s just amazing in every way. He’s just really good for me you know? Exactly what I need in a man. He gets me up off my lazy ass and gets me to do stuff that I wanna do but I’m either to scared/lazy to do.

Alex always held me back….Daniel always pushes me forward. 

I can see Daniel and I going pretty far. I’m not pushing for it or anything but I can see it happening. 

I just hope he doesn’t leave me anytime soon. 

He knows how to handle me. I’m pretty tough to deal with sometimes. Especially when I’m moody. I’m also pretty stubborn. But, he does a good job of it. He doesn’t get mad. Which again….is something I need in a guy. 

I’m going to the Fire Science Banquet with him. He sort of invited me. Like it wasn’t a cute like "Hey, I would really like it if you came with me to this Banquet." it was more of a we were in line and he was signing up for tickets and he was like "Do you wanna come?" Of course i want to. Only if he wanted me there though. I’m not sure about how he feels about people knowing we’re "together".

He still kind of hides it from his roommates and stuff. And like I still take the stairs to get to his room cuz he doesn’t want people seeing me sneak in and out of his room. And I mean I get it. He just broke up with his girlfriend and doesn’t want to seem like that asshole who bounces around quickly. 

I dont know….I guess a part of me feels like he’s ashamed of like being with me I guess. I know thats not true. But, all this secrecy. I’ve been through it before. The old feelings just came back even though these are totally different circumstances. 

I wouldn’t mind committing myself to him. I’d love it actually. He’d make a pretty amazing boyfriend. But, I’m not rushing into anything. We’re just gunna let things run their course. 

We’ve kind of talked about moving in together in a way. It was more like a "Hey, if I manage to get my own place would you want to move in and help me out?" basically. 

I’ve met him about two months ago. This are going fast while also being really slow.

I had a ‘premonition’ like two days ago.

Not sure if I told you I get those sometimes. No one really knows. Not even Daniel. Wouldn’t want to freak him out I guess. But, yea I get premonitions. But, sometimes, when I get too excited my brain plays tricks on me and shows me what I want to happen. I think it was one of those.

Anyway in this "premonition" we were at some place nice and were both dressed up. I’m guessing it’s supposed to be the banquet but I had this premonition before I knew I was going. But, anyway, we’re there and Daniel and I are having fun and stuff and he basically asks me to be his girlfriend. I say yes and we slow dance.

It was weird cuz like it predicted I was going to the banquet before i knew I was going. But, I’m pretty sure the rest of it isn’t gunna happen. He doesn’t want to commit…we already agreed to that. 

But, yea. I’m tired. 

Oh I’m planning on surprising him today by visiting him at the hospital where he takes his EMT class. So yea hopefully it wont fail miserably like last time. 

I’ll write more later. 

Sorry for the long entry.

See ya!

 *Sandra*