Gone

Well, you know, I always fall in love with the wrong person dont I? He decided it was an impossible situation and decided that we are to be friends and friends only. Saw him on leave last week…went to FLA and spent some time with him. He really hasnt turned out to be a very nice person. I tried. I really tried, but you cant make someone love you, no matter what history or hope you have.

His brother died of cancer a few days ago and Im glad (bad word usage) it happend while he was on leave so he could have that last time with him. He returns to Afganistan on Saturday and soon after that I need to decide if we are going to be friends or not. We talked tonight and any further communication, if I want it, he wants me to initiate because frankly I dont think he cares one way or the other.

Bad things happend, hurtful things said, damage done. Dont know if I can be friends with him, right now the pain is too much.

I guess if I read back on my diary over the last 10+ years, we can count how many bad choices Ive made, how many times I thought it was love, and add this one to the heap.