Checking In

Well, Hello.

How are things? Life here is fine, I guess. The usual daily emergent situations exist around me. I’ve been feeling mentally blase’. Uninspired, unmoved. I dont know why, I can only tell you when it got worse..when Alan left me a billion days ago. I just have a hard time feeling and don’t see much beauty around me. The only thing that warms me is my 3 year old. He touches me in ways that are indescribable…the love of a child…

He saw a stray cat and he wants to name him Mailbox. I know funny, and thats funny.

Business has been steady, Im happy to report in a business happy kind of way. Its nice to know I can move mountains within an hour’s time with these gentlemen and then its gone. There’s a gent I haven’t officially met yet, I’ll call him TB. TB is in his early 40’s and from his phsyical description he sounds adorable. He lives dangerously close to my neighborhood and we frequent the same grocery stores, the same resteraunts, the same fitness club and our kids all go to the same sports activites and so forth. Amazing we haven’t met yet. Yeah, I like him so far from the conversations we’ve had but he is already promising the world to me. No, I’m not encouraging it…I do the playful flirtation thing to keep the interest going….but I am such a realist now when it comes to men and thier empty promises and charming ways…Thanks Alan..because of you I dont allow anyone near me emotionally…because I think if I let this guy, he’d have me as his mistress. Yeah, last thing I need is another crossed wife showing up on my doorstep. Nothankyouverymuch, I dont care if he promises me everything under the sun…for a price I’ll be his dream for the alotted time we arranged but no more.

The life of an escort is NEVER boring.

There was a guy from FLA that was coming to see me tomorrow and Friday..we’ve had several false starts in meeting…its gotten to a point that I dont believe a word he says. Today he texted me to tell me he wasn’t coming…his friend killed his wife. I replied "ok" not really knowing what to say and not really believing him…I should have been more reactive and said OMG! what happend but I loath texting with a passion. He responds saying…."is that your answer" and then I replied saying how terrible it is that she was killed" but didnt ask any more questions. I am still nursing a migraine from yesterday and this morning the pain was showing me no mercy. In a normal conversation I would have been more reactive I suppose but Ive grown so frustrated with this guy in about a years time of "I want to meet you and run away with you" and then……nothing. Kind of like the boy who called wolf feeling…if he stands right in front of me MAYBE I’ll believe he is here to see me but I will think my eyes are betraying me.

In my odd life of an escort…we get that..some men get a real thrill with the idea of meeting someone like me…thrill of the chase..but I dont have it in me to pursue any man ever, so he’s barking up the wrong dog. I think I was supposed to act really sad, really disappointed that I wasnt going to be able to make all of his dreams come true. I am sad for the wife of the man who was killed….if its true…very sad indeed.

Lots of wierd things happening in this world lately..Britney going nuts (I can relate to what she’s feeling if its true the men in her life have driven her mad) the Anna Nicole thing….BURY HER ALREADY! Christ.

well, spouse is coming to bed, I better run. Nighty night.