Checking In

Im ok. Im sorry I havent written….just havent felt like sharing. So selfish, I know.

Everything for the most part is fine…doing really well with my business, I have a great client base and still taking new clients. Every single one of my experiences have been good ones..for that I am grateful. Its been enlightening, fulfilling and adventureous.

My boys are doing great, growing so big and handsome.

My marriage is in shambles, as usual. No surprises there but life goes on. I think feeling so lonely inwardly is an odd feeling, especially when I am surrounded by men (clients) who think the world of me and adore me (and I, them).

I have been reading your diaries to keep up, but rarily noting…sorry….if I dont have something worthwhile to contribute Ive just been silent.

Overall, Im ok…really….just been feeling depressed. Ive been changed to Prozac recently and doc is putting me on Buspar for anxiety. Its the marriage…everything else is good. I just cant stand him, he is verbally cruel to me and never ever touches me. (no he has no idea what I do) Yes, Im sure.

What a wonder it would be if my own husband would make love to me like some of my clients do.

Anyway, Im alive. Hope you are all well.

ToffeePop

July 8, 2006

whats stopping you from leaving?

I’m not sure I can forgive you.

gossamer_windweb

I was JUST telling my husband today that I wondered why you hadn’t written. I am glad things are okay in general! It is SOOO good to see you (((hugs)))

Dixie's_Fire

glad things are alright on all other fronts…

DefyingRules

Good to see you post. Keep kickin 😉

nice to see an entry here. *hugs*

DragonKat

July 9, 2006

It’s good to hear from you again 🙂 Nice to know you’re still alive out there. If he makes you so miserable that you need medications wouldn’t it be better for everyone involved if you ended it?

el capitan

Yeah, what’s stopping you from leaving? It sounds like you’re really not in a happy place – especially if work and clients are becoming easier to deal with than your marriage. Hope you feel better….

She’s back, now leave the slug.

WantingMore

July 11, 2006

this is not meant to be judgemental… but is it possible to be ‘in the business’ and be working on your marriage? I know he has to work on it too, or maybe most of all.. but… I am not the kettle calling the pot black. I don’t claim to be working on my marriage.

stephanie1225

July 21, 2006

Found you thru mindsetofaJohn… hope you don’t mind. Very intriguing, this life you lead. I… well, I’ve tossed around (somewhat uncertainly, jokingly) the idea of getting into the business… how did you get started? how old were you? what were your reasons? i take it you don’t regret it at all– but isn’t there part of your psyche that wrestles with it? just very curious… if you have time.

I just stopped by to tell you I think your note in mindsetofajohns diary is too funny. I’m referring to the entry where John wrote what if working girls only slept with cute guys. While I’m here I should probably confess to being one of the naïve people who know nothing about what you do or the sex trade in general. That’s why I like to read – its the only way not to be ignorant of something I have no knowledge of.

Thank you for the nice note. While I have only read a few of your entries I think you are amazing. You know who you are and you are living your life on your terms. I strive for that every day. I realized a long time ago that as long as I am happy with myself then that’s all that mattered. I try not to get caught up in what other people think of me.

I don’t think I have a right to judge anyone & I don’t think anyone has a right to judge me. I like to read mindsetofajohns diary but I don’t understand the hostile notes he gets which is why your note made me laugh. If I don’t like what I’m reading I close the entry & move on. I can’t see why someone would read his diary if they hated what he wrote about or thought he was ‘diseased’ as one person put it?! Thanks again for the note. Have

Hi Kel, yes, I feel better today, thanks for asking. I like your diary name it reminds me of my sister Kelly. I was honored that you told me where I could see your picture & I would never show it to anyone else. I’m sure you hear this a lot but I will tell you anyway – you are very pretty.

Well I have to run but I had wanted to leave you a quick note to reassure you that I wouldn’t show anyone your picture. I will keep in touch and if I find a picture of myself I will post it. Have a great weekend.