nose lick.

*DANCE*

Stand up to the new day and laugh at its face. Smile into the dark night. Step forward when no one else will, put your own neck on the line.

 

My right hand smells like scented geraniums. It’s deliously lemon. Thus my plant infatuation continues. I resisted my mother’s offer to buy me another plant. I was so tempted by the madien fern, but I hardly take care of my plants well enough now. And… i’m going to force some bulbs. (at least, i’m going to attempt to do it.)

 

Lately my attempts to learn haven’t been going so wonderfully. I though about a week ago that If i could learn how to knit I would be able to make very nice, but cheap presents for all my friends.

 

yeah.

I suck at it. But! There’s light to this tunnel, turns out the information i printed out from the web was misinformative, so there’s hope yet. Maybe i’m not a crafting fool. II boughtminiture devil ducks this weekend, and I’m rather looking forward to making them into magnets. How cool is this girlie?

 

My best friend in the entire world is maybe breaking up with her bf. It’s in the making. What kind of couple still calls each other every time before they visit each other after a year?? being polite is fine, but one can be too polite. If you’re close enough to be making love each night, you should be close enough to pop in on each other shouldn’t you? At least, this is my opinion. Let me know if I”ve been misinformed.

Again I’m conflicted. I don’t like him. (truth be told, i don’t like any of my friends’ significant others a whole super lot… maybe I’m just over protective?) And he ‘s hurting her! She’s such asweet and lovely person. So great. AND… if they break up she’ll probably move back to Vermont…. and she’s probably move in with me next year. She’d be the greatest roommate ever. I love her so much. It would be a dream come true. I miss my friends so badly. No one lives closely to me, and once you’re in a committed relationship. I feel like it becomes really difficult to make new friends of your own. At least… it has been for me. I really long to have that girl friend that I can go  to and hug! and curl up on the couch with and watch stupid stupid tv… I can laugh about the geeky things that I laugh about with. I miss that commradship.

 

(do you think i’m uneducated because of the typos and the blantant spelling errors?)

—I never thought I’d die alone. I laughed the loudest who’d of known” Adam’s Song BLINK 182

“Jumper” Third Eye Blind.

 

Songs like Jumper 3eb, kept me alive when I was younger. This is an irrelevant thought….. Adam’s song just came on hence the blip in my thoughts–

 

Anyways, so I just got home from Boston. Mom and I went together and I did have a fun time. It was a little boring… but it was nice. I got some much needed rest (although the food did make my stomach sick, something that I’m paying for currently)

 

I love my mom, she tries super hard. I don’t know if we’re going along in the same dirrection or not though. I hope we go at least in the same general direction.

 

It’s nice to be back at school and to be back in my nice room, with my  things and my new things. (I got a new handbag and an Audrey Hepburn calendar for next year… almost got some jewlery… but my own cheapness with money halted it… it’s okay. Grandma is buying me jewelry for christmas… what a girlie girl am i)

 

I need to water my plants and move my fishies back into my room….

 

I need to unpack and start some laundry washing. I need to call Dad and let him know that mom just left.

 

I need to go to the bathroom ………………… again.

 

I need some human contact that cares about me. God, i long for depth in conversation and silliness  and holding without sexual intent.

 

why.