Halfway to Resolution

Last night I spoke for an hour on the phone to an old friend and trusted mentor about the Mr. Grabbyhands situation, and it turns out he’s been witness to a few of these type of EEO cases in his long career. He sympathized with me about the awkwardness of my position, then advised me to meet with an EEO rep just to find out what an investigation would entail. He did his best to calm my fears, reiterating that with only one eyewitness, the investigation probably wouldn’t get too messy or drag on too long. He didn’t pressure me one way or another, but assured me a fact-finding mission would probably make my decision easier.

So this morning, Heather and I skipped our morning run to stop in at the EEO office. Imagine my surprise when I walked into the manager’s office to find one of my former co-workers! Imagine how my surprise was compounded when I learned my management had already contacted her to say I’d be coming in to file a complaint! I had never made that decision, and even if I had, company policy is to respect the victim’s privacy at all costs. The caller had way overstepped his bounds, as did the EEO manager when she not only informed me that my section had ‘called ahead’ to reserve an appointment I never requested, but then tried to horn in on my private session with a counselor. I hated to do it, but I flat-out told her her presence made me uncomfortable. I made sure to emphasize that it was nothing personal, although it’s true I feel something vaguely nasty lurking under her hard little exterior, but that her familiarity with the parties involved would create an awkward atmosphere. She wasn’t happy about it, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she immediately called back to my section in a snit.

Initially I was a little leery of my counselor’s perceived lack of experience, but damn, does that woman know her shit! She was so friendly, helpful and professional that I left feeling as though the situation were all but resolved, even though I still haven’t decided whether to file a complaint, and if so, what sort of complaint to file. She put to rest my fears about what they call ‘victim focus’, where the accuser’s personal life and character are dragged into a public forum for everyone’s inspection. In fact, she all but told me the case is clearly in my favor since I have an eyewitness, which is considered ‘a preponderance of evidence.’ I’m still worried about the ugliness that may begin to surface when this thing gets underway (it occurs to me I wrote ‘when’ as if I’d made my decision. Maybe I have), and whether or not he can even be punished now that he’s more or less retired from the organization.

I will probably go forward with the investigation, if for no other reason than stopping the ball already in motion would send the message that I’m not willing to stand by my claim. I never wanted this to happen, but I’m going to have the play the hand dealt me in the best way I know how. I do still suspect management is using me to nail a guy they don’t like and can’t get to, but I have to ignore the peripheral junk and just focus on making an informed decision.

I just hope it turns out to be the right one.