I guess everyone go through it but me??

Ive felt this for sometime now. That everyone can go through their bullshit but me. That everyone can have their emotional out burst but me. For the past three days Ive been wanting to make pancakes but there’s only one skillet. The skillet has been full of grease for the past two days. So I go in there to make pancakes this morning and two people are in their cooking. One said I could go ahead shed wait till I got done the other said that I couldn’t and bum rushed me out of the kitchen. Its not fair. I hardly ever cook and when I try to I’m not allowed. Sometimes it feels like a race thing and bc they are bigger thing. I never cook and when I want to I’m not allowed aint that some shit? This is why I need my own apartment asap.

Things with boyfriend is now ex boyfriend. I told him to go be with who ever hes seeing and to leave me the freak alone. This is totally killing me bc after four years he never gave a chit about me. I thought we were something special but I guess Im just fucked up in the head.  I just gotta learn that its okay to be away from him and to start looking for my own apartment. I know he will try to come around before then but I really dont want to see him. Or have anything to do with him. All my concentration will be looking for a new place to live. I dont even want to hang out with his roommates. They know everyone knows he’s been fucking around but wont tell me shit. I dont get that. I dont get why people know but wont tell me.

In a way Im devastated but in a way Im good bc I can concentrate on everything I need to do in order to get my life together. I should’ve done that a long time ago. I know hes been cheating on me off and on as long as weve been together. Honestly I was afraid of leaving him before but I’m tired of being disrespected.