My Life Changed Today.

My life changed today.

This morning, at 9:23 AM my Mom called me at work.  She was frantic and told me I needed to go home right that moment.  She had just gotten off the phone with my little brother and told him to call 911 for my Dad.  He was having a hard time speaking and my Mom told my little brother she thought he was having a stroke.

I called my little brother who told me that Dad was okay but wasn’t making sense and that the paramedics were on their way.  I told our office manager I had to leave and starting heading for San Marcos.  My Mom called me as I was driving down and told me that my Dad was being taken to a hospital in downtown Austin.  So I headed there and found the emergency room.  He wasn’t there yet so I had to sit and wait until the ambulance finally arrived. 

My brother got there and said my Dad was doing better, and the paramedic walked us back to a room.  We gave them all of the information that we had – medical history, medications, emergency contacts etc. 

And then they wheeled my Dad in.  He had an oxygen tube in, and IV, and was hooked to a machine that shows the heartbeat and whatnot.  He smiled at us but it was a fuzzy sort of smile.  Almost like a child’s.  The nurse came in and asked him some questions and he couldn’t answer them.  He said “yes” and “okay” but he just… couldn’t find his words.

I stayed strong, for my little brother, but it took everything that I had not to break down.  Here was my father, laying in a hospital bed, unable to speak.  This man, who is so incredibly intelligent, so quick-witted, and so eloquent with his words, frustrated because he can’t get the words out that he wants to say. 

After all was said and done, they determined that he had a stroke on the left side of his brain.  It had affected his speech, in that he can understand what we’re saying, for the most part, but just can’t find the words to say what he’s trying to say.  It’s almost like the words are stuck there in his head and when they are translated into speech, everything is garbled.  He mumbles, and speaks in words that aren’t clear.  His mouth forms sounds but those sounds don’t form words.

It could have been much worse.  He could have suffered, instead, a major stroke.  One side of his body could have been paralyzed, instead of just a little weakened as it is now.  He could have died.

But he didn’t.  He is still here.  And I’m struggling to deal with my feelings about the situation.

I have to stay strong, for my little brother, and for my Mom.  We have to figure out the finances, and what happens if he cannot teach online anymore.  We have to figure out how we are going to take care of him while he re-learns how to speak. 

My Daddy, my Superman, a piece of my heart and my soul, has been broken.   I can only imagine how frustrating it is for him not to be able to communicate what he is thinking. 

I will find some positivity soon.  I will.  But now I just wait.  Wait and see what will happen, and keep myself busy in the meantime. 

If you believe in prayer, please pray for my Dad.  If you believe in good vibes, send them his way.

Time for sleep.

R

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