Interesting Weekend
I had a good, and interesting weekend. Friday, I cut out of work early and headed to Travis’ house. We had dinner at Carraba’s and then headed down to Austin for a play that my old roommate is in. Travis and I met with with a couple of my close girlfriends, talked for a bit, and went in to watch the play.
It was phenomenal. It was a small stage, with seating on all four sides, and doors in the floor of the stage where props (and at one point an actor) were kept. The doors were utilized for scene changes, where the actors would set up the next scene in a very choreographed sort of manner. Very cool.
Anyway, 3 or 4 scenes in, this male character is introduced. He’s sort of the bad boy, and extremely attractive. You know, tall, dark, handsome and all that. Maybe not that tall, but you get the point :). On top of him being an attractive man, it is a very sultry sort of scene. He gets in the female lead’s face and essentially is trying to get her to come back to his place with him. And she wants to go with him. Very hot.
So naturally, I look over at my girlfriends with my mouth wide open, and they have the same looks on their faces lol. Next was intermission, so we went outside to smoke and we talked about the guy actor. Just funny, witty, girl-talk sort of banter. My girlfriends and I all have the same sort of humor so it was all in good fun. A few minutes in I turned to Trav and told him “Don’t worry honey, you’re way hotter.” At which point my girlfriend says “Yeah, you’re definitely VERY hot.”
So that was that, and we head back in for the second half of the play. Travis was acting weird and I asked him if he was okay. He said he was fine and I put my arm around his. The next scene was a love scene and all I could think about was him and how much I loved him. I have been in a sort of weird mood this week and was finally snapping out of it. I love him with everything I have, and I couldn’t help but think about that. Unfortunately, he had other things on his mind.
On the way home he told me he was sort of taken aback by the girl-talk and tittering about the actor. He said it brought up some old feelings and that he realized that I am not his ex-girlfriends, but that he couldn’t deny the feelings it brought up. He was upset. And he couldn’t help but think “Man, her jaw didn’t drop like that when she met me.”
I told him I was sorry that I upset him, and he told me he was sorry he brought it up. I just kept thinking Man, I fucked up. I hurt him. And I didn’t ever mean to. He told me he was sorry and I told him I was sorry again too. That it didn’t mean anything and that I would make sure I didn’t talk like that in front of him again. That I didn’t want to upset him, and that he didn’t need to be sorry – that I would rather know about things like this, than for him to keep them in and me to find out later.
Anyway, we talked a lot more and I held it together. Made some jokes and that was that. I didn’t want him to be upset. And I never meant for that to happen. But I understood what he was saying. And he was justified. And thank God we have a great relationship where we can talk about things like this, not argue. Where we can just talk them out and discuss them. Where we can understand each other, and respect each other. </spa
n>It’s pretty amazing.
I guess I didn’t think me saying anything about that actor would have any effect on him, because he is so incredibly sexy. He is the most attractive man I have ever dated. His eyes, his back, his arms, hell his entire fucking body turns me on. And I would never want anyone more than I want him. And that’s not even taking into account anything except looks. And me, along with all of the rest of the women in my life and I’m sure his think the exact same. So I suppose I don’t really consider his insecurities as much as I should.
But now I’m more aware of that, and all is good :). We had an amazing Saturday night – steak dinner and a great night together. Couldn’t have asked for a better 6 month anniversary :).