I’m not living with him until we’re married.

I constantly have to justify certain "traditional" decisions that I have made.  I don’t mind justifying, for the most part, but I do think it’s interesting that people of my generation and the one before it see "traditional" viewpoints as silly, unnecessary, or even stupid.  I was actually in that same boat just a couple of years back.

But I have made two decisions over the last two years that people my age tend to not understand.  One is that I don’t want to move in with anyone until I’m married.  The other is that I want to stay home with my kids. 

Those being said, I have always been traditional in that I like certain gender roles.  Example, I have no problem with cooking dinner and doing the laundry.  As long as my man is appreciative and helps out in other ways (lawn work, fixing stuff, you know, boy stuff :)).  Basically, as long as my man treats me well, I’m more than happy to do most of those domestic chores.  Also, I like to have a "manly" sort of man who can reach things and move stuff and fix stuff and do all those man things I’m not good at :).

Anyway, I’ve told 4 friends since Trav and I started dating that I wasn’t going to move in with him unless/until we get married.  1 of them said an immediate "Good for you!", 1 asked "Why?"  and eventually came around and told me she liked my decision, and 2 looked at me like I was crazy and said "Why in the world would you do that?  How do you know you can marry the person unless you live together first???"

So I have to tell them that Travis and I have spent plenty of consecutive days together, in close quarters, and have done just fine.  Then I tell them that if you spend enough time with a person, you can tell if they will be a good living partner or not.  That’s what dating can be used for.  It’s something that used to be done all the time – waiting to move in until married – and I’m sure plenty of people have parents who have been married many years now, who did just that.

It’s not a moral thing to me.  Trav and I spend the night together frequently and are completely immoral while we do it ;).  For one, it’s just a choice I’m making in order to avoid any hassle in the unfortunate event that we ever split up.  It’s difficult when you live with someone and you split.  I know, I’ve done it.  I’m still paying for it.  On another topic, I would just really enjoy my marriage being an official start to my life with the man I marry.  A joining of two lives.  I would just really like that.  Finally, it gives me my "me" space until I get married.  I’ve never lived completely on my own.  I’ve always had a boyfriend or roommate.  I want some time to live by myself.  And I think that’s important while Trav and I are still dating.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on that.  It’s just so funny to me that I have to explain myself when I tell people "No, we’re not going to move in together.  Not until we are married."