Antisocial

I have been a bit anti-social this week.  Perhaps because of my vacation.  On vacation I was with my Mom, Aunt, friend, cousins, etc. the entire time.  So coming back here I sort of just wanted to be by myself.  Or rather, I wanted to either hang out alone or with Travis.  It’s worked out though because he and I have been able to spend a lot of time together this week.

My Mom just took a job as a traveling PT with a company that has facilities all over Texas.  So she will be travelling to different locations for 2ish days at a time.  Because of the location of most of these facilities, she parked her RV up north of Austin so that she has a sort of "home base" to come back to if she doesn’t want to go all the way home.  

Convenient for me because on the nights she’s there we can hang out (if I’m not heading back to SM), and on the nights she’s not there I can either get some alone time or have Travis stay over.  We stayed there last night, had dinner, swam in the pool.  It was nice.  Definitely a good RV park.

Anyway, back to being antisocial.  I feel like sometimes it just takes a large amount of mental and emotional effort on my part when I am in social situations.  Even if the social situation includes let’s say, Travis’ parents, but especially if it’s just with friends.  For example, my best girlfriend T and I hang out fairly often.  I have a lot of stuff going on with work and school but we hang out quite a bit.  I get into the groove of it for a while, and then I hit moods like this week where I just don’t want to hang out with her, or anyone else for that matter.

That being said, I don’t get anxious when I’m hanging out with people.  It’s more of an energy drain if anything.  I don’t necessarily feel like I’m putting on an act, but I feel like I’m never quite relaxed.  And as I’m writing that it almost makes me think it’s a character flaw on my part, that I’m sort of being fake when I’m around my friends.  But it’s not that, and I don’t think it’s an obvious outward sort of thing to my friends.  It’s just sort of internally draining I guess.

But not when I’m with my parents or Travis or select extremely close old friends.  Maybe it just comes from that internal "shy girl" inside of me. 

Anyway.  I’m not being very eloquent with this entry lol.  I finished off a bottle of wine today that we had shipped from Sonoma so perhaps my brain is a little tipsy 🙂

Alright, time for bed…

R