A New Day

It isn’t easy to just let go.

RYN: Scotty doesn’t exactly live with rikki. rikki lives with HIS parents.. he works too much to live anywhere but his van from state to state. but technically yes he lives with his parents too. with two of his three children. and he drives around a van from store to store all in the north east states stripping and waxing floors. makes a crap ton.

and sometimes he spends money in hotel rooms to sleep there instead of the van. shitty job. but gets a lot of hours.. gets a lot of money. no sleep tho or time for anything else.

*huggzz*

RYN: don’t worry i get that question all the time. well rikki yes is mooching of course.. no job.. nothing. just collects his earnings. shes in love with him as well wants to be with him.. won’t give him up basically. and she threatens taking away his two kids if he’s with me or talking to me or even calling me.. she has taken them before.. and usually the mother is in favor in most cases.

when they argue about him not wanting her anymore she brings me up.. and sure everyone knows were together but the time he said we are together she packed both kids up and left for a week. and him and i stayed in a room looking for a place to get started.. he was devestated.. even i couldn’t stand him in that pain. and idk if you’ve read the few entries before.. but he won’t take her to a judge

without clearing up his warrants and serving his short time to get a clean record and try to fight her. from what he tells me she treats her children differently.. shes closer with the boy who is growing up to resent scotty thats scaring him.. and his youngest daughter is in love with him.. she’s only 2. he wants her more than anything he wants to fight for FULL custody of his youngest..

rikki just wants him and only him period. her jealousy of me is unbelievable.. she’s even tried to treat him right.. but some things just die.. its not the same with him.. i am actually in fear that she might kill me. there are incidents where she almost ran me off the road.. tried smashing his van into mine.. showed up at my work with 10 people ready to drag me by the hair in an alley.

hes tried to break up with me because he’s scared for my safety.. but i don’t want to give up. what we have is unexplainable. he would do anything for me. but i can tell what his kids mean to him. his first borns mother is no threat to me.. or him. rikki is also after her too. she needs to be locked up. and from what he tells me how she treats her daughter over her son is just sad.

scottys son was supposed to be in my best friends wedding (scotty was the best man) but rikki pulled him out because she found out about me. its just a horrible situation. she has the mind of a twelve year old. and puts up a fight that she will never win. shes trying to cut off communication by blowing up my phone.. pretending to be scotty calling me to make me upset or pushing me to leave him.

we’ve tried everything. ive changed my number.. ive even used the “im a lesbian” ive even had other guys posing as my boyfriend to make her back off.. nothings working. he’s hoping she’ll find someone else to stalk and love like she does him.. lately shes been telling him she’s sleeping with someone else.. but its only trying to make scotty upset.. which doesn’t work. so its back to square 1 again

theres just too much going on. when he has a phone things are more peaceful.. but her living with his parents is hard to get around. his father tells him he should kick rikki out and keep me around. his mother doesn’t know me or has ever met me. and he won’t kick out his kids mother.. because the kids will go with their mom regardless. its a tug o’ war. it hurts. but we have another plan set up

i wrote our plans in an entry of what he wants to do. a part of me doesn’t want him to go to jail but i want this over as much as he does. and he wants court. he’s afraid he will put his hands on her because honestly she tries to get him to hit her.. she’s insane. and in desperate need of THERAPY. one day she’ll say she wants nothing to do with him talks a bunch of crap about him. the next its

i love my lil family. i love my man.. yadda yadda when he isn’t even there. she’s PSYCHO. theres something mentally wrong. i feel horrible for him.. he probably wouldn’t even be in this mess. i met scotty when she was pregnant with his youngest daughter. its so messed up. hope this extrememly long note helps explain tho. i just don’t want to give up on him. i feel like a real person around him.

he knows every detail about me. in and out. every lie ive hid he knows every single truth.. every flaw.. every mistake.. every regret.. he still loves me regardless. and i have NEVER found a man that can put up with me. the rest have all said their “i can handle linda” and in a matter of time they bailed. he’s never bailed. always there when i needed him. he just brought the “real me” out.

whatever he is he doesn’t feel human.. the way i feel doesn’t feel human around him. he’s like my diary.. everything is out in the open how it should be. im sure he will never find a girl that will stick with him like i have. or trust him for that matter. he’s no saint and neither am i. our sex lives are brutally honest.. i dont think anyone really can understand us but ourselves. sorry so long.

i shouldve wrote an entry for all of this.. would’ve been easier haha. well thanks for asking.. just this note makes me feel better of writing. some look at me as a homewrecker.. when it wasn’t even a home to begin with. he said himself if rikki treated him right.. like she should treat him.. i wouldn’t be in the picture.. there would be no me & scotty. and id probably be who knows where..

okay this is the last note i promise! wow i need to stop blabbing. sorry i blew up this entry with notes! you can delete them if you want after reading. i don’t mind ha. thanks for asking questions tho.. i love answering them. what are OD buddies for?!?! hahaha -L

RYN: he’s planning to turn himself in next month.. and he’s hoping while he’s away in jail that rikki will feel dumb living at HIS parents house and get out of there since scotty won’t be around. but who knows what shes doing. after the warrants are taken care of and hes out.. back to work for a while and then court.. and another court case for nevaeh.. (LONGER story) but that should be cake walk

rikki is the ONLY obstacle that is holding us apart. when she goes down. i will be sleeping next to him every night that he isnt working. =] and taking care of HIM like ive always wanted. he knows living with him will make me happiest and completely 100% standing by him. all i want is for him to be happy. he needs his children over anything and anyone.. so i will help & support him through it. =]

Ryn: That does make sense. Trick him into starting it? haha. I like this idea.

RYN: Oh that’s so nice, you’ve inspired me to keep trying with online dating. People don’t tend to share their positive experiences of dating sites and it can get a bit disheartening.