18: Blue – Part 2

So yes, we met again and I gave in.  We met a few times more then I realized something is not right but it felt right for me. We only see each other when we want to have fun , and you know what I mean. I never even bothered trying to get to know him on a more personal level and settled with just that. Then a friend told me to not stop talking or get to know other men.  And I got to know one, C, who was sweet and kind and had plans to meet me and visit me in the island cause it’s probably the easiest way. When I thought what we had was good, I stopped texting Blue. When Blue usually texts me at night and tells me he’s coming over, I am usually up because I am somehow waiting for him too. But that night, I slept early. I don’t want to keep seeing Blue and planning to meet C. Next day, I texted Blue that we don’t want the same thing and eventually disappeared from each other’s life. LOL! At least for a couple of months! 😅

Things did not go well with C. One thing I can’t tolerate is telling me something you’ll do but don’t do it. Been many times that he tells me he’ll call me/text me before/after something, but it never happened. I always end up waiting for nothing. So I let him be and told him it’s not gonna work. Months later, I saw Blue’s profile again on the dating app. I swiped right for fun. If he has a paid account, he’ll know I swiped right. I know he blocked me when he told me he wasn’t looking for anything with anyone, so I was a bit surprised when I saw his name in my notification. Oh, why am I doing these crazy things? He came over my place again and we are back to how we were before. And we stayed that way until now.

Honestly, I sometimes get curious about him. I want to know him personally but I don’t think we have that kind of relationship to talk about personal stuff. I am not even trying to stop myself from having fun with him. I know it’ll end soon when he leaves the island anyway. I wonder if I’ll even feel sad. Well, maybe. I don’t know.