017: Blue

How do I start this? I met Blue through a dating app right on the 2nd day since I moved here on the island. It’s the first time since 2019 that I decided to use the app again and meet a guy. I never really used it back home for the fear that people who knows me might see my profile! But since I’m new to the place, nobody knows me. I thought it was exciting, though a bit scary! Before agreeing to meet Blue, I told my one and only friend in the island that time where Blue and I are going. I also sent her a picture of him and his phone number.

At first I thought he won’t show up. And when he did I was just so nervous! I don’t even know how to start a conversation. LOL! I don’t think it’s what he’s looking for anyway. The moment I saw him, I just felt an FB vibe! 😅 So we went to this bar, had some drinks, talked a bit and I don’t even think it was a genuine conversation! I did try to connect, but it felt weird. As I listened to him more, I can’t connect the words to the person I was seeing in him. Just when we are about to leave, he held my hand and pulled me closer to him. And so yeah, we kissed. Probably my first kiss since almost 3 years ago too. In my mind, I know what he wants next. And I don’t want to deny the fact that I want it too. But not that night. I told him we should go home. I was so nervous he might just leave me there because he did not get what he want. 😅 But thankfully, he did drive me back to my place. It made me a bit sad because I do want to make friends too as I’m new in the island. But again, I know it’s not what he’s looking for. And I know for myself that if he’ll message me again, I’ll probably see him and I don’t think I would still be able to resist. Because one, he smells so nice!