016: He’s married.

Okay. Let me take you back to four months ago, which is 2 months after that guy (let’s call him Blue which I’ll talk about in another entry) blocked me. It’s crazy, I know. I decided to use that dating app again and came across this new guy (we’ll call him Andy). Andy was funny and sweet. And I did thought I can be friends with him. But who was I kidding? Guys from these dating apps are not looking for friends! You know what I mean. He told me he’s not the “for relationship” type of guy. And I was like, okay… I’m not expecting us to be in a relationship after meeting for the first time anyway.

And so, we agreed to meet. We went to the beach and he brought a few bottles of beer. We talked for hours and I have to admit, he’s really handsome too. And I forgot to mention, I did a bit of stalking and found his instagram. I saw a woman’s picture there too, so I thought that he might be in a relationship. I also asked him about it and he just said it’s complicated. So all other things happened that night and we said our goodbyes. The next day, I just had a thought that I haven’t checked him on facebook. As soon as I found his profile, I was stunned. He’s married!!!

I could feel my heart beat raising that moment and I felt so ashamed of myself. I know I can’t blame that guy for everything cause in the first place I allowed it to happen. The thought haunted me for days until my friend told me to let it go. It’s not as if I wanted to ruin someone’s relationship and just charge it to experience. I finally made peace with myself. I just wish I was more careful and not be too trusting.