Let’s Justify This

   I write in here because I don’t know what else to do.  Talkin out loud doesn’t give me satisfaction because the right words almost never come out, and a pen can’t keep up with my rapid moving thoughts. 

  I needed a means of ‘escape’ to keep my sanity or at least gain some. 

    Well, now that I’m done justifying why I need to have an online diary let’s just cut to it. 

  I’m in a relationship with an amazing guy who I’ve been with for 7 months exactly, and it’s always a shock to me that we actually get to celebrate another month together when it finally comes because we’re all wrong for each other.  He’s too selfish, I’m too stubborn, he’s motivated by money, and I’m moved by the heart.  There’s hardly any common ground we can share with each other, but when the timing’s right our relationship is a thing of beauty.  Those times are about as seldom as a solar eclipse, though. 

  So, needless to say this whole diary thing is going to be mainly about he and I and our lack of understanding each other and my hope for a better tomorrow with him.  Sure, I could write about how beautiful the sunset was or what funny thing my friend said last night, but those aren’t the things I constantly think about.  He is.  Our relationship is.  Wondering if he’ll actually have the guts to love me like I know he’s capable of doing.  These are the things I have to get out not only for myself, but for us so that I quit bottling it up and it come flying out the next time we have a pointless fight that only keeps us up til dawn.