A Good Day

  So far today’s a good "up" day.  2 nights ago when I took the first pill was a different story, though.  I took the first Zoloft at 10:30 and fell asleep around 12:50.  I abruptly woke up at 3:50 feeling very alert and paranoid.  I paced the house for about 5 minutes before I went back to bed and turned on the tv to unwind a little.  I thought I would drift off in a few minutes but I was so alert that I stayed awake for another 3 hours.  When I finally woke up for the day that next morning I felt a range of emotions, and I didn’t quite feel like myself.  I wasn’t scared, only cautious.

   I was uncertain of what to expect when I popped in another pill last night, but I woke up twice in the middle of the night and quickly returned back to sleep within about 5 minutes each time.  The nausea, however, has been constant and today I’ve felt a little shaky in my hands, but other than that my mood is good and that’s a big step in the right direction for me.  The doctor said it would take about a week to really know how this dosage would effect me, but I’ll be in Germany at that time and I’m a little worried of what to expect around that time.  Hopefully the nausea will disappear by then, along with the slight tremors, and then I’ll be able to really be on the right path for once in my life.  That’s pretty exciting.  I’ve been this other deeply emotional girl for most of my life, and letting go of all that baggage to introduce myself to a lighter more care free girl will be interesting.