on feet and smoking

i did not participate in any "don’t smoke" awareness stuff this year.  yesterday was world aids day.  half of world aids day was over before i was even aware….. one of my survivor friends used it towards me as a greeting.  it made for an odd moment.

i have a bubble that i try to stay inside……. it’s safe.  it’s quiet and fairly low stress.  my boundries are possibly a little tight.  i am to easy to go from concerned to aggravated and defensive with phone-people.  i had a customer service woman asked me if i had an evening home phone.  the kind of phone specific to my home.  i was able to tell her that we had digital cable service and cell phones.  we just did not use or need a phone specific to my home.  her voice changed with me and i could tell she thought it was okay now for me not to have a phone.  
how bought that?  i secretly gloated too.  but only a little.  bit.

i don’t know how much you know about me…. 
i’m taking physical therapy twice a week here at home.  and i see a nurse twice a week for "peek-a-boos" (or something), and i have pulmonary therapy twice a week at utmb.  

 i am a an elephant weeble.  ….. i have days when i want to ponder that more, but what is the worth of a pointless ponder?

i’m not sure if my humor and witt button  works anymore.  my i don’t give a crap about that button is highly sensitive.

mack cleo is almost 5 months along in my daughter-childs belly.  she and her family have been able to feel each other’s movements beneath her protective skin with him. 
lifes magic….

blanca let me give her a bath while sittling in my lap in the shower  today.  l guess i should be a little more forthcoming.  we both sat down in the shower chair naked.  it concerned her because we don’t sit in the bathtub in the shower chair, naked.  you sit in there when you are going to take a shower. 
oh god no!  she’s going to put water in here at any point.  do not let her touch you.  do not look her in the face.  whine.  sprawl on your back and go around on your back like a rap artist dancer.  oh god, why did i let her close that damned door?  i bet i won’t do that again…

any-hoo, she is clean and i only have one scratch that is noticeable and it is not going to blead.  she tried to get tiny and go hide behind my right ear.  tight. but still looking for a way to ditch my ass and run. 
she would give me to the zombies. 
yep.

ah well.  when she is telling me that she loves me, she makes these little chuffully noises in my right ear.  and she snorts into my ear every time because she found out i have a "cannot control laughter" button back there.  cold wet nose, chuffle ing
abusive, she is.  says, i.

oh…..
i can fall asleep like at weirdo spookey times.  we keep bringing it up and tweaking it at utmb.  my last tweak was to change when i take them.  or how i take them…. i take them just fine, but when was the trouble.  if i didn’t take them with the night meds they did not get taken.  so i am adding in one more alarm time to do a quick body check.  locate the box and take the pills.  they have to be separated from the night meds, so i have one more pill box.  lets see some pictures.?
oooh, christmas is coming.  lolly and her family can’t come till the 28th.  our christmas will be late.  i am putting up the tree today.  dustin picked up a 5ft pre-lit tree.  and a green skirt with a santa applique.  and a big puffball nose.

focus damned it!

this is a necklace i did for the beadsoup contest.  it looks very islandish…. i like it both ways.
   

 i love this necklace.  it has made three changes.  evolutions…..?  revs…. i need a live neck to decide.  there is only so much you can do with a velvet neck.

i’m just gonna say that it looks worse that it is.  i was in a sloppy tank top, under a hair covered towel.  hair in all my pores, all over my upper body.  it was an acute event.  my eyes were naked, itching and red.  so, don’t be hating.